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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

the complete idiot

Yep, that would be me, otherwise I wouldn't have needed to read The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Perfect Resume, Fourth Edition, AND I would have finished it by now. Now while I don't like to think of myself as an idiot (complete or otherwise), I suppose it was necessary to recognize the problem before I could start to deal with it. Name it to claim it, so to speak. Well, the problem, to sum it up, is that I have unsightly "gaps" (hmmm, gaps still sound reasonable and somewhat self-contained, so perhaps "huge gaping holes" is more accurate) that blemish my otherwise not-too-bad employment record. Therefore, I figured that the best way to proceed was to assume that I had never even written a résumé before, even though I've applied for more jobs than I can count. In other words, finally learn how to do it right.

In all my years of sending out résumés the most difficult one was for a job that involved teaching others how to put together THEIR résumé, and boy, talk about pressure! I almost felt like writing in my cover letter, "Look, due to my dipping in and out of the labour force it appears as if I haven't been that successful with résumés myself, but honestly, I'm sure that I can teach better than I can do. Really." I didn't write that of course, but I also didn't hear back. Sniff.

And when I went to the library to return my other books, I didn't quite like how the librarian announced (and rather more loudly than I thought prudent—was it really necessary for EVERY patron to hear?) the title of the book that was still overdue. It was almost as if she was implying that not only was I a complete idiot, but also a complete idiot extraordinaire, who sadly hadn't been able to comprehend the contents of the book within the allotted time. Snort.

At any rate, I recommend this book for anyone who doesn't like his or her current résumé efforts. I've read a number of résumé books over the years and no book has ever addressed the specific problem of gaps (most books assume they don't exist, or if they do acknowledge them my reaction to their idea of a gap is often, "Gap? You call THAT a gap? Ha! Come look at my résumé!") as successfully as this one. Hey, even I might be better able to hide them this time!


Blogger country dweller said...

I hope very much that you will succeed. The rudeness of the clerk was simply awful. I never come to understand people like her. Good that one only has to suffer their company briefly while they have to suffer it all the time.

May 31, 2006 6:17 p.m.

Anonymous mum-of-two said...

Yes, but what I want to know is whether you've put 'complete idiot extraordinaire' on the infamous résumé? I'm not sure which heading it would belong under - Personal Details?, Education, Skills and Qualifications?, Work Experience? - but I'm sure you'll be able to sneak it in somewhere. Then when you get your dream job with a fabulous salary you can go back and thank the librarian lady (who probably wears support hose, has a bad perm and loves poodles).

On a more serious note, I'll look out my trusty résumé writing text as well. It has brilliant suggestions about accounting for gaps.

June 01, 2006 10:24 p.m.

Blogger KJ's muse said...

country dweller: Yeah, what a relief I don’t have to live with her 24/7, but I did have a good laugh once I got home!

mum-of-two: How about under Proudest Achievement? Or Summary of Qualifications? Snort. Too funny.

June 03, 2006 5:20 p.m.


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