the new blog is up!

For anyone who happens to stop by here, the new blog finally made its debut last month. Took much longer than I anticipated, but better late than never, no?

So go check her out. Okay?

Think Outside The Piggy Bank

what?!

I haven't posted in nearly a month? I hadn't realized it'd been that long!

Well, as some of you know, I started a part-time job at the end of September that has me working 12-hour shifts every Saturday and Sunday. I'll give you a minute to let the reality of that sink in, snort. Needless to say the adjustment has been a bit difficult and is still ongoing, and it has rather interfered (work has such a pesky way of doing that, LOL) with the rest of my heretofore lovely and completely self-determined schedule.

To be honest though I'm also playing around with the idea for a new project, which means that I may let this baby either retire or "rest" for a while until I get it going. The new venture is a personal finance blog! Okay, that might sound kind of dull, but it won't be. It'll be written in the same informal, sometimes humorous style (e.g. if I find Maxine cartoons that tie in they'll definitely get included), but it will simply be more focused, and talk about everything related to money—a topic I've always found ultra-fascinating. So if you're interested, I'll let you know when I'm ready to launch, and hopefully some of you will follow me there. And if not, you can always still peek at my Flickr pics! :)

who needs Dr. Phil when there's Dr. Seuss? :)

Or self-help books for that matter. I have a shelf full of the genre, but having been deprived in childhood of the excellent literature provided by Dr. Seuss, how was I supposed to know that all I really needed could be found in Oh, the Places You'll Go!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy [gal] who'll decide where to go.

That pretty much sums it up, does it not? Snort.

(click here for the full version)

p.s. posting may be sporadic for a while as I start steering myself in the right direction…

indeed again

indeed

"Inserting a Q-Tip deep into your ear is a great, undiscussed pleasure." —AMY KROUSE ROSENTHAL

not an ordinary book

Remember that library book I was telling you about? The one that I kept putting down because I wanted to have my own copy? Well I did finally end up reading Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life as I wasn't sure when I'd be able to buy it, and with some reluctance returned it the other day. I'm going to miss having the book around, and my place feels just a tiny bit emptier. Kind of like the way it does after a good visit with a friend who has just left.

There were many moments when I'd exclaim, "me too, me too!" after reading certain facts or entries, delighted to discover that not all of my quirks are exclusively my own. What also emerged is that we both prefer coming up with an idea, rather than executing it, like writing down moments, memories, lists, quotes, and thoughts, and instead of fiction, tend to write about stuff that actually happened. Somehow, this gives me hope. :)

And in case you ever end up reading the book yourself, here are 21 of my favourite entries:

BAD MOVIE
DOING SOMETHING
EITHER
FICTION
GROUP PERSON
HAPPINESS
JACKET BIO
NOTHING
OTHER PEOPLE
PHONE, GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE ON THE
POTATO CHIPS
RED GINGHAM TABLECLOTH
RETURN CALL
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
SILENCE
STATEMENT
TA-DA!
THANKFUL
TUESDAY NIGHT
WABI-SABI*
YOU

* The neat thing about this term, by the way, is that both the author and I discovered it in the same place: Utne Reader magazine.

(wabi-sabi: "As a single idea, wabi-sabi fuses two moods seamlessly: a sigh of slightly bittersweet contentment, awareness of the transience of earthly things, and a resigned pleasure in simple things that bear the marks of that transience.")

when all else fails

Sometimes, when you have a really difficult decision to make, and the usual pros and cons list just doesn't seem to help (don't you just hate it when they balance each other out?) try asking what it is that your spirit needs right now. Not necessarily wants, but needs. In other words, what would be a good soulution? Okay, I didn't make up that word myself, and can't quite remember where it came from, but it's a term I really like.

And if that doesn't work, envision as fully as you can the outcomes from whatever decision you're trying to make, and see how each one makes you feel. Imagine that you've already decided the course of action you're going to take. Do you feel lighter, relieved, and happier, or disappointed, or worse, left with a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? Your feelings often point the way as to what you really want to do, and this may be one way to reach that difficult decision.

Okay, off to follow my own advice. ;)

enjoy what's left of summer

Because before you know it:

Come, little leaves, said the wind one day,
Come over the meadows with me and play;
Put on your dresses of red and gold;
Summer is gone, and the days grow cold.

—GEORGE COOPER

Mind you, at 34C at the moment, I probably won't be mourning the end of summer too much! ;)

what can I say about season 3?

Season 3 of The Mary Tyler Moore Show (she sheds the wig she wore in the first two seasons making her look older) proved to be just as enjoyable as Seasons 1 and 2. The only disappointment was the lack of bonus features.

I still love the theme music, the opening and closing credits, Mary's apartment, the house it's located in (gotta love THAT house!) and the acting of course. Episodes were funny, or poignant, always smartly written, and one of them even made me cry. I especially love how the characters of both Mary and Rhoda mature and evolve and reflect the changing times.

Episodes of note include Rhoda The Beautiful (where Rhoda finally recognizes her own beauty), You've Got A Friend (a touching episode about Mary and her father—this is the one that made me cry) and My Brother's Keeper (where a guest character is revealed to be gay—an issue not often addressed back in 1973).

But do you know what I really want? To be able to get a peek inside Mary's bathroom. Her apartment is a set of course, but I still want to see ALL of it! This season I was lucky enough to see the hallway and the stairs that lead to Rhoda's apartment, but I can't seem to stop wishing for a glimpse into the room that's never been shown. Snort.

a glitch

The good news is that I'm able to RECEIVE incoming email messages. The bad news is that I'm not able to send any out. Well, I can send them, but they don't get delivered. Snort. I'm sure it'll get sorted, but in the meantime I'm hoping that those of you who do get email from me read this before wondering why you haven't heard from me yet. :)

p.s. email is fixed!

crashing and falling

Not sure whether my computer is suffering from old age, split personality, or demonic possession, but whatever the specific ailment, it's in dire need of a complete overhaul. It's been making me nervous lately by freezing up without any provocation on my part (honest!), occasionally refusing to load Windows even when I ask nicely, or telling me that my settings aren't correct when they were perfectly fine the last time we played together. Yesterday however was the last straw. Turning the computer on it had the audacity to greet me by just giving me numbers to look at instead of the nice pictures I've so carefully loaded. I wasn't sure whether to cry or throw up (or both!) and in desperation I called my trusty technician (read: brother) and wailed that my computer was now officially scaring me. So, I get a new (read: cobbled together from various parts collecting in his basement) PC tomorrow night. Yay! But that also means that some time will be spent installing this hopefully-not-too-much-like-Frankenstein contraption, and that I'll have to learn how to manoeuvre my way around. For example, goodbye Windows 98 and hello Windows XP. Hmmm.

Back soon I hope! Wish me luck. :)

p.s. Maxine may have high-speed, but I still have DSL...

so true

sundays

Ah Sunday. Is Sunday not the most bittersweet day of the week? A sense of finality, a vague longing that it not end just quite yet, regret perhaps when looking back, a squaring away, and yet a sense that a new beginning is just around the corner. Because it is!

And that brings us back to....

saturdays

Saturday could be described as the most adventuresome yet relaxed day of the week. Oh the options! The first official full day of the weekend, lots of fun things to fill it with, and once again time suspends itself a little. Even chores don't always seem so bad on this day. :)

fridays

Friday is definitely the most playful day of the week. Yay, this part of the week is finished, let's go celebrate! Or commiserate if need be. No, Friday is the day you can let your hair down and chill out a bit, because whatever you haven't done yet can always wait.

thursdays

Thursday is probably the most reflective and anticipatory day of the week. The end is undeniably nearing closer, the results are coming in, and you may or may not have done what you had in mind. There isn't that much time left to change course and steer the boat around, but it's always possible. And, the weekend is coming up!

wednesdays

Wednesday is like the middle child of the week. Sometimes taken for granted and not given as much attention, it nevertheless plays an important role. Get to Wednesday and you're pretty much set. And with Monday and Tuesday successfully behind you, you now have a good sense of where you're headed next.

tuesdays

Tuesday, I think, is often the least stressful day of the week. Still brimming with the youthfulness and vitality of a week barely begun, you've settled in a bit, tested out the gears, made the necessary adjustments, and are raring to go. There's lots of time left to do what needs to be done. No looking back yet!

mondays

Monday is the most hopeful day of the week. Like early mornings when time still stretches out before you, the slate is wiped clean and you're off to a fresh start. And no matter what took place last week, anything can happen THIS week. Hey, you might find the love of your life, or work that really fulfills you. Yes, Monday is the most optimistic day of the week. Get ready, set, go!

an analysis of days

Starting tomorrow!

instructions

The following is looted (once again) from my inbox:

Simple Instructions for Life

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R's: Respect for self, respect for others, responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day. *
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

* My friend said that for me this one should be reversed: Spend some time with people every day! Snort.

maybe Martha made it?

martha versus maxine

Another email find:

Are you a Martha or a Maxine?

Martha's Way:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Maxine's Way:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway.

Martha's Way:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Maxine's Way:
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's Way:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Maxine's Way:
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's Way:
If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Maxine's Way:
If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Martha's Way:
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Maxine's Way:
Celery? Never heard of it!

Martha's Way:
Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Maxine's Way:
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

Martha's Way:
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine's Way:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

Martha's Way:
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Maxine's Way:
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Martha's Way:
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Maxine's Way:
Leftover wine???????????
HELLO!!!!!!!

****************************

And what if you're a little bit of both? Would that make you a Maxi-Mart? Or if you're a bit more like Martha, but not nearly as obnoxious, a Mini-Mart? Ha ha! Okay, I'm shutting up already before you think I've drunk ALL that leftover wine. Snort.

not sure I'd wear this button myself, but ...

... I find it pretty amusing!

p.s. I should probably provide a bit of context here and tell you that the above was part of a "mood buttons you can't wear to work" series that a friend emailed me

the trouble with me

"The trouble with me is I have no imagination." —JAMES JOYCE

I think I know what he means. While I've always wanted to write, I've never wanted to write fiction, and unlike James Joyce, probably couldn't even if I tried. Invent characters and plot? Um, I wouldn't even know where to begin. In a nutshell, I just don't have that kind of imagination.

Creative non-fiction (personal essay, humour, etc.) is where I feel more at home. Although sometimes embellished a little for comedic effect, everything I write is based in truth, in part because real life is often funnier than anything made up. All the silly scenarios you have read about so far have really happened, snort, and at the possible risk of making myself look even more foolish, I relay them to you because almost nothing gives me greater pleasure than making a reader laugh. Obviously I have a serious side as well, but being told my words are funny is the biggest compliment I can aim for, so, keep 'em coming. ;)

what NOT to do

Remember that helpful tip Krissa had about putting the shampoo in the fridge to stop it from melting in the summer heat? Well, I MEANT to do that right away, but of course got sidetracked and never did. So, before taking my bath today I cleverly decided to put it in the freezer instead to speed up the process. I knew it wouldn't be in there long, and was quite pleased with myself for coming up with this perfectly reasonable solution.

[Okay, you can stop snickering now, because even though I know you KNOW what happened next, I'm going to pretend you don't and tell you anyway.]

Well! Guess what? I got sidetracked once again, and ended up not taking that bath for several hours. I also promptly forgot about the shampoo. Yep, instead of melted goo, I ended up with a bottle of frozen gunk. Can you picture the look on my face when I realized what I'd done?

[Oh all right, laugh at me now if you want. Heck, let it all out. Snort.]

But think about it. Isn't this just typical? Too hot, or too cold. Where's that happy medium?! ;)

because I'm easily amused

A friend sent me the following email:

British Signs

Spotted in a toilet at a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

how hot was it yesterday?

It was SO hot that:

a) KJ laid on the linoleum all day
b) the shampoo melted
c) I had to go outside to cool off
d) Hamilton broke its temperature record
e) I didn't wear a bra despite the negative gravitational effect

Okay, you have 30 seconds to come up with the right answer. Go!

Give up? Ha ha, it's all of the above! :))

snort

she's back!

Sort of. But I'm still feeling too lazy to come up with anything original, so will be posting humour columns I've written in the past, or tidbits that conveniently find their way to my inbox. Still, better than nothing, no? ;)

Today's piece, appropriately enough, addresses the topic of laziness. Specifically, my own.

* note: as it was written years ago, some of the points may be out of date, but I'm feeling a tad too sluggish to point out which ones

LAZY IS AS LAZY DOES

The first time someone told me I was lazy, I dismissed it out of hand. The second time that same person told me I was lazy I started paying attention. After the third time, I was curious enough to consult my trusty dictionary. This is how The Houghton Mifflin Canadian Dictionary of the English Language (what a mouthful!) defines lazy:

1. Resistant to work or exertion; disposed to idleness; slothful.
2. Slow-moving; sluggish.
3. Conducive to languor or indolence.
4. Depicted as reclining or lying on its side. Said of a livestock brand.

Well! I'm no longer sure I can trust my dictionary, although I can't really argue with slow-moving (too many people, unfortunately, have confirmed that one), and I can see how long periods of unemployment could make some people label me resistant. I take exception though to slothful, and that reference to livestock, why, that's just plain unkind. So, rather than taking my dictionary at its word, I am going to make use of my underused sociology degree and look at the question of whether I am lazy in a scholarly, scientific, objective, and unbiased way. Okay, I might be willing to admit to a slight partial bias, but only slightly. The following are impartial arguments for and against the notion that I, Christa, am a lazy person:

FOR - some members of her own family consider her to be lazy
AGAINST - other family members recognize her deliberate attempts to slow down in order to achieve greater balance

FOR - even some of her friends think she's lazy
AGAINST - other friends just see her as deliberate and slow (or deliberately slow?)

FOR - she doesn't want to work full-time
AGAINST - she's hoping to be financially compensated one day by writing about not wanting to work full-time

FOR - she thinks dogs are too much work
AGAINST - she faithfully cleans her cat's litterbox weekly, and scoops daily

FOR - she likes having meals made for her
AGAINST - she makes macaroni and cheese from scratch, not Kraft!

FOR - she used to make her oatmeal in the microwave
AGAINST - since the death of her microwave, she's become a stove top kind of gal

FOR - she has a book called The Joy of Not Working
AGAINST - she has a whole shelf of books on looking for work, including Finding Your Perfect Work

FOR - she bought (at full price) The Lazy Person’s Guide to Success (the most damning piece of evidence yet!)
AGAINST - she also bought (on sale, I might add) To Build the Life You Want, Create the Work You Love

FOR - she's not always employed
AGAINST - but when she is, her employers just love her (except for the few times she's quit of course...)

FOR - she charged her neighbour $20 for snow shovelling one winter
AGAINST - she was kind enough to do it as she didn't want to do it in the first place

FOR - she bought one of those fancy ergonomic shovels
AGAINST - she was spotted shovelling snow as early as 6:30 am (in fact, she never gets up later than 7:30 am)

FOR - she won't walk the 20 minutes to get to the public stairs
AGAINST - she does up to 700 steps on her own set of stairs

FOR - she gets defensive when she hears the word 'lazy'
AGAINST - she prefers terms like: 'laid-back', 'heedfully unambitious', or even, 'contemplatively idle'

FOR - she doesn't like housework in general
AGAINST - she does the dishes (by hand!) three times a day (usually)

FOR - she doesn't like dusting in particular
AGAINST - but she vacuums once a week, and thoughtfully supports the Swiffer company whenever she can

FOR - she doesn't like the question "What do you do?"
AGAINST - she's been known to answer, rather philosophically, "I don't, I be."

FOR - she spends a lot of time on her computer
AGAINST - she sends e-mails to family and friends regaling them with funny stories in an effort to make them smile out loud

So, am I lazy? Well, I guess the jury's out, because I can't decide whether I can't decide, or whether I'm just too lazy to figure it out. So, to paraphrase a favourite heroine of mine: "Maybe I'll decide tomorrow, for tomorrow's another day."

a bit of a blogging break

So that I truthfully can't utter any of these source-less email-derived lines:

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Snort. Actually, five minutes isn't quite long enough, but I'll be back by August. Hope to see you then!

p.s. the jealousy line cracked me up (ha ha!) the most; which one was your favourite?

a test—no cheating allowed!

(another email nugget with unknown source I'm afraid)

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
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The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
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2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
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Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
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Wrong Answer
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Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
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3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All of the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
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Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
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4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
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Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
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According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.

Snort. And um, no, I didn't get any right. ;)

avatar for Krissa

Who happens to be a great friend, and even prettier than this image suggests. :)

do I resemble this avatar?

I ain't telling! Snort.

Created at www.simpsonsmovie.com

gotta love that alphabet

A friend sent me an email containing words that when rearranged, spell other words. (As always, I don't know his source.) Here are a few:

DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROOM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PRESBYTERIAN:

When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE EYES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THEY SEE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GEORGE BUSH:

When you rearrange the letters:

HE BUGS GORE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE MORSE CODE:

When you rearrange the letters:

HERE COME DOTS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SLOT MACHINES:

When you rearrange the letters:

CASH LOST IN ME

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ELECTION RESULTS:

When you rearrange the letters:

LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SNOOZE ALARMS:

When you rearrange the letters:

ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:

IM A DOT IN PLACE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:

When you rearrange the letters:

TWELVE PLUS ONE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and now for something a little different

This is what the forward of the book I'm currently reading states:

I was not abused, abandoned, or locked up as a child. My parents were not alcoholics, nor were they ever divorced or dead. We did not live in poverty, or in misery, or in an exotic country. I am not a misunderstood genius, a former child celebrity, or the child of a celebrity. I am not a drug addict, sex addict, food addict, or recovered anything. If indeed I had a past life, I have no recollection of who I was.

I have not survived against all odds.
I have not lived to tell.
I have not lived the extraordinary.

This is my story.

—AMY KROUSE ROSENTHAL, age 39
Chicago
June 2004

There's also a Reader's Agreement at the beginning which asks me, among other things, to agree to no pretend half-reading of the book while ordering takeout food, to agree that playwright should be spelled playwrite, to agree that while some women may look sophisticated wearing a shawl others look foolish, and to agree that while black is technically the absence of all colour, it makes more sense for it to be all colours combined. On the copyright page it tells me that it is not responsible for the weather, the scalding nature of soup, or for the short window of time between bananas not being ripe enough, and being rotten. These items, by the way, are in tiny print and easy to miss, so I'm pleased that I caught them.

What is this book I'm referring to? Why, Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life of course. In it the author tells about the moments and emotions of her life in delightful and various-length alphabetized entries from A to Z. Now I can't seem to get very far because every time I start a new page I realize that I don't want to just READ this book, I want to HAVE it. So I keep putting it down thinking that I might as well return it to the library and wait until I have my own copy. And it occurred to me too that what I find so appealing about the book (apart from the fact that dysfunction does not appear to play a role) is that not only is it an entertaining and random (yet organized—woohoo!) hodgepodge of admissions, but it's the type of book I would have wanted to write myself. Could SEE myself writing in fact.

Now, how does that Edward Gorey line go again? Ah yes:

Books. Cats. Life is sweet.

quick wedding update

Well, I'm glad I went! It turned out to be really fun, and I got to spend time with family members that I don't see too often. And although I felt a bit cowardly about it at first, I decided to ignore my estranged brother and his wife completely, and didn't even look at them. In a sense, I didn't even "see" them, except out of the periphery of my eyes. My niece was the first of the next generation to get married, so I'm glad I didn't miss out on the special occasion, and I'm thankful that both parties chose not to air their differences at this event. I imagine there will be time enough for that in the future!

And thanks again, Krissa and Dakota, for keeping me in your thoughts yesterday. I really appreciate it. :)

estrangements

They seem to run in our family. My mother is estranged from one of her sisters, my step-dad is estranged from his two daughters, two of my siblings are estranged from my dad, and I'm estranged from one of my brothers who himself was estranged from the whole family for almost four years.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, as some of you know, I'm attending my niece's wedding this Friday and it will be the first time I see my brother again. I'm not particularly looking forward to that (am a bit apprehensive actually), but don't want to miss the wedding because of it. How we got to be estranged is, not surprisingly, a long story, but the final incident that clinched it was when said brother uninvited me from the family Christmas dinner he was hosting in 2003. To add insult to injury, he left a message on my answering machine saying that if I apologized to his wife for being rude (which I hadn't been), they'd reconsider uninviting me, but that they didn't care whether I was there or not. His last words to me on tape were, "Oh, and a piece of advice: get a job, get a life." Click.

Needless to say I was not amused, and apart from a letter I wrote, we haven't had contact since. Now obviously there was a fair bit of bad blood between us already because estrangements don't develop overnight, or in a vacuum. But they are definitely one of our family patterns, and one that I wanted to explore. Which is why I'm writing about otherwise personal and private matters, and also why a few years ago I bought family members copies of Laura Davis's book I Thought We'd Never Speak Again: The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation. It's a good book, and one of the appendixes includes a self-assessment quiz called "Are You Ready for Reconciliation?" I'm going to include it here because I think it's quite valuable and could be of benefit to others. You are to answer "yes" or "no" on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being no and 10 being yes.

1. Has a relationship with someone you once cared about ended because of anger, betrayal, or miscommunication?
2. Do you miss the other person and wish he or she could still be in your life?
3. Have you worked through your own feelings enough to approach this person in a new way?
4. Are you ready to take responsibility for your role in what happened?
5. Have you developed a sense of compassion for the other person?
6. Have you moved beyond fantasies of revenge and retaliation?
7. Could you move forward even if you received no apology or acknowledgment that you were wronged?
8. Are you being realistic about the other person? Have you stopped pinning your hopes on a fantasy?
9. If a limited relationship is all that is possible, would that be acceptable to you?
10. Can you be in this relationship and still feel good about yourself?
11. Given the risks involved in reaching out, are you willing to face the worst possible scenario?
12. Do you have what it takes to rebuild this relationship?

My own answers revealed that I am not ready to pursue reconciliation, and that I'm closer instead to accepting that our relationship is probably over. Other family members have tentatively begun taking small steps to reach out and while I wish them success with that, I have no interest in doing the same. Still, I have to see my brother on Friday whether I like it or not, so it could be an interesting evening indeed.

who better to quote? ;)

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind." —DR. SEUSS

a full moon the night before?

Had a really strange day yesterday. A near collision with a grey SUV while on my bike in the morning had me swerving into oncoming traffic, a sudden storm left our neighbourhood without power for over three hours in the late afternoon (horrible when you're counting on electricity to keep you cool!), AND I started my period again even though I just finished one last week.

But what really freaked me out was the bike incident because at one point I knew I was going to get hit, and I experienced that odd phenomenon where time slows down to a standstill, and the injuries the bike and I were about to receive flashed right before my eyes. I think I even yelled. When the guy in the vehicle did finally see me there was maybe an inch between us at most, and while the oncoming traffic wasn't the slightest bit happy to see me either, at least they SAW me! So my hope for today is that it's COMPLETELY uneventful. ;)

another hot one

At an almost record-breaking temperature today!

families

"All happy families resemble one another; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." —LEO TOLSTOY

I've always liked that quote, although I don't think I agree with it. While the latter may well be true, I suspect that there are as many ways for families to be happy as there are different ways of being a family. At least, let's hope so. But I've been thinking more about families and family life ever since posting about Father's Day and reading the responses shared by you. The consensus seems to be that there is no "normal" family, or that the screwed up family is the norm. And if that's the case, should we even really use the term "dysfunctional" when talking about family? I mean, if it's more typical for a family not to be functional, wouldn't that make the term in relation to family obsolete?

At any rate, it got me to thinking. I grew up (like many of you perhaps) watching The Waltons and Little House on the Prairie, and always felt wistful seeing those shows because while I knew that my own family wasn't like either one of those in even the remotest sense, I always thought that other families came closer to the ideal. And even though I realized at the time that those shows were cloyingly sweet, I still assumed that most other families scored at least a 5 or 6 on a scale of 1 to 10 in resembling the closeness of those TV families, whereas my own family scored a measly 1 at best. But maybe I was wrong. And that, strangely enough, I find comforting. Ah, but if only I'd known while growing up!

first day of summer

(But thankfully cool enough to feel like spring!)

So to mark the changing of the seasons, here's a poem by my favourite poet, the incomparable Mary Oliver.

The Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass.
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Oliver, Mary. New and Selected Poems. Boston: Beacon Press, 1992.

lend me your ear

hopeful thought

"The next message you need is right where you are." —BABA RAM DASS

a day late again

If my relationship with my mother is complicated, then the relationship with my father is relatively simple; we don't have one. At least, not one that's meaningful. After the birth of his first child, my dad decided that he wasn't interested in parenting after all, and so he didn't. (My mom and dad were married for almost 25 years before finally divorcing, in my opinion, about 24 years too late.) I grew up with him rooming in the basement as if he was a boarder, and I can count my memories of him from that time period on one hand. A couple of my siblings are completely estranged from him, a couple of them have sporadic contact, and I probably talk to him about twice a year (on Father's Day, and around his birthday which falls close to Christmas). Every year, like yesterday, I wonder why I even bother, but then go ahead and call him anyway. He usually seems pleased that I at least acknowledge the biological bond on this particular day, but after running out of things to say within ten minutes, we go back to our own lives.

Needless to say we don't have a "normal" (whatever that may be) father-daughter relationship, but then I don't know any better. As the youngest child in the family I sometimes think that it was probably harder on my older siblings, but I'm not sure. Why else the surge of anger every year at around this time? What I do know is that we were all affected, and that we didn't have the benefit of being witness to what a loving union is like. And that, I believe, is the best and most useful gift any parent can bestow on their kids: modelling a healthy relationship.

What I'm starting to realize though is that my dad is getting old (he's 81 now), and with him in frail health, I wonder how I'll react when he passes away. At this point I think I'd react to his death as if he were a stranger, which he is, and I'm beginning to question whether I need to resolve my feelings about his lack of parenting before he dies. Because if I don't, will whatever is unresolved come rushing back?

What about you? What is your relationship with your dad like? Care to share?

there are more of us

After writing about Stayfree pads the other day (and if you enjoyed that wait until I fill you in on how crazy my menstrual cycle is becoming—believe it or not but I sometimes get TWO full periods in one month!) I happened to surf a bit and found this opinion site where 7/10 reviewers agreed that Stayfree should have stayed Scentfree. I feel vindicated. ;)

not done complaining yet

(and because it's kind of related to yesterday's Monday's post)

So last night I wanted to send my friend Krissa an eCard, and when I got to the site that I always use, discovered that they had changed the set-up and not for the better. What was really easy to navigate before suddenly wasn't, and what loaded properly before, now didn't. Grrrr!

But it got me to thinking that this happens with websites and different consumer products all the time. I can't tell you how often I've used a product for years and years and then ended up hating it after they've "improved" it. A specific example? Stayfree pads. The best pads around as far as I was concerned and then, poof, seemingly out of nowhere they decided to add deodorant to every single one. Tried one package and thought they stunk to high heaven. The problem though is that they scented ALL of them and no longer offered any without the (IMHO) offending odour. Now I understand that companies change their products once in a while to get new customers, but why alienate the ones you already have? In this case specifically, why not offer customers a choice and have both scented and unscented pads available? As it was, I discontinued a product that I liked very much and have yet to find something as good. But enough of feminine hygiene products. ;)

The other day I saw my soymilk with the label "new flavour" and I felt like yelling (but at whom?) that if I'm already buying the product it's obviously because I like the OLD flavour. So if you ever want to see me break out into a visible sweat, just hand me a favourite product that says NEW AND IMPROVED. Aaaack!

And, um, sorry about the unsent card Krissa. :)

is it me, or is it hot in here?

bigger is not necessarily better

(a post where I gripe and grouse because that's what I do at times)

As some of my faithful readers know, I wasn't too happy when I had to open a Google account for the new version of Blogger. And because I can sometimes be a grumpy old sourpuss, my password reflects that I did not do this willingly. Snort.

To date I'm still not impressed with the whole takeover and personally do not believe that the acquisition by Google has improved this site all that much. At least, not for this particular blogger. One of the annoying things for me now is that I have to sign in every single time I access my blog even if I was there a minute before. According to Google this has more to do with my own security settings, but all my tinkering in the Tools/Internet Options/Security categories has been to no avail. Cookies are enabled and I've given express permission to always allow them on both the old and new Blogger sites. My logon is also set on automatic but that doesn't make a difference either. Maybe Google is personally offended by my password? LOL

No, I don't like the new set-up. I miss being able to search all blogs by just going to the navigation bar and frankly, I don't think Google is especially user-friendly or customer-oriented. Going to their "help" pages hasn't personally been very helpful for me as I find that if your question doesn't fit their pre-set categories then you're SOL. And what happened to being able to email customer support? Nope. Not on Google. All you can do is join a group and hope that someone will answer your question there.

But I think the bigger issue behind my irritation is the increasing tendency for sites and businesses to be gobbled up by larger entities. It's merger this and merger that and pretty soon everything becomes homogenous. Take grocery stores and newspapers for example. Once upon a time many of them were independently owned and operated. Now big conglomerates own almost all of the smaller grocery stores and that limits our free choice. And how independent can our local newspapers really be when one or two corporations have bought most of them out? No, I don't like this trend of big monopolies at all. And that includes you, Mr. Google. But I better shut up now.... ;)

dutch-canadian humour

My sister sent me a list her daughter found on Facebook that made me laugh, and I thought I'd share a few of the items. Unfortunately though it probably won't make much sense to anyone who isn't Dutch, snort, and some of the items are definitely stereotypical, but I thought I'd post it anyway. ;)

You Know You're of Dutch Descent When

- you never trust that the yogourt or margarine containers contain what the label says
- most North Americans (other than those of Dutch descent) can't pronounce your last name
- you know doughnuts have nothing on oliebollen
- you know the only speculaas worth eating are the windmills because they're good luck
- you put sugar on bread with margarine
- you love Maggi in your soup, even if it doesn't need it
- you can say the Dutch 'g' that a lot of others can't pronounce
- you use untranslatable words like appelflappen and gezellig
- you're asked for your last name and you spell it instead
- you can say achtentachtig prachtige grachten without sounding like you have a hairball in your throat
- you brought beschuit met muisjes to school when you had a new brother/sister
- you have so many coupons they keep building up and there are too many to look through
- there is a calender in almost every room (including the bathroom) and at least one of the calenders is a 'birthday/anniversary' calender
- you are too cheap to pay for cable cause you can get 4 channels for free with bunny ears
- you have a special knife that you only ever use to cut cheese and you call this knife a kaas mes
- you like coffee that's way too strong
- you hear all the 'new ways to save energy' and you yawn and say "I've been doing that all my life!"
- you're not allowed to have both meat and cheese on the same sandwich
- you go sightseeing and only attend things that have no charge
- you have 500 rolls of toilet paper in your house because they were on sale!

mary's back!

Mary who? Mary Tyler Moore of course. And I picked her up tonight. No, not in person silly. But the eagerly anticipated The Mary Tyler Moore Show: Complete Second Season DVD was anxiously awaiting my arrival at the library—woohoo! Maybe that'll lure me away from Flickrland.*

* haven't gone there yet, but checked recent activity via email ;)

heeeeeeeelp!

I've been floating around in Flickrland for HOURS now, and I can't get out! There's too much to do, too much to see and too much to search. And searching is almost as fun as, well, list making. Aaaaack! Like I need another computer site to get addicted to. Somebody come get me? Seriously. I've got tons of other things that I still need to do today. :))

smile more?

Alrighty! So here's another photo (final one, I promise) to round off the collection. And may I just add that these pics unfortunately do not do me any justice (no way is my forehead THAT big), and are therefore not to be used to infer level of attractiveness. Hear me? Snort.

botox: just say no ;)

Oh the things I do for my readers! Snort.

These two pics were inspired by Dakota's excellent post about what women are encouraged to do in the name of beauty. In response I've decided to mount my own pro-wrinkle campaign using the pithy slogan in the title above. Anyone care to join me? :))

and because Dakota asked nicely ;)

Here are two pics to give you an idea of what my hair looks like post haircut. Mind you, it was cut about two weeks ago and as you can see, it's already starting to go wavy in the back. And I'm still waiting (quite impatiently) for it to go silver. Go, silver, go!

p.s. do you know how hard it is to take your own pictures? ;)

wanna know how smart you are? ;)

Take this test to find out! I took it a few weeks ago, but seem to remember that the key was to read each question SLOWLY and figure out EXACTLY what they were asking. Armed with that piece of advice you'll do just fine. And if not, well, I ain't liable! Snort.

wanna peek inside? ;)

If, like me, you love houses and taking walks at night to get a better glimpse inside people's homes (okay, not too many of you probably go that far, LOL), then this site is for you. No more having to sneak around and feel like a peeping Tom—these folks want you to look! :)

not a lotta grace

Do you know how difficult it is to run and catch a bus when you have a full knapsack on your back AND a grocery bag in each hand? Do you know how ridiculous a person looks even attempting such a feat? Think penguin crossed with, well, me. I'm quite sure the bus driver waited just because he was enjoying the spectacle. Never mind. One of the things I love about being in my early forties is not giving a toss anymore. Well, not as much. ;)

it's all relative

Dirt, cleanliness, pain, tiredness; I now realize it all depends on what you're used to!

day 4

Slept. ;)

more before and after shots

ask me what WASN'T sore on Friday!

On second thought, don't. Okay, if you really must know, my hands, wrists, arms, shoulders, and legs were killing me. My knees however were fine because I used a folded-up blanket in a garbage bag to protect them. SO glad somebody told me about that little trick. It took me nearly six hours to clean the living room, but I was determined to get it done, and get it done well. After all, I have the Dutch-housekeepers-are-really-good stereotype to uphold, snort. But three days in a row of cleaning baseboards, floors and doorways in warm humid weather on the second floor of an old house? Go on; ask me how tired I was! (In a weird way though it was kind of fun. Well, satisfying at least to see the end result.) Oh, I forgot to tell you about the tall doorways with the large mouldings—there are three of them in the apartment—and if I remember I'll try to take a picture of one of them when I return next week. (Yes, I've been asked to come back and tackle the hallway and stairs, so no, the fun's not over yet, LOL.) I know, I'll stick the ladder in front and that will demonstrate quite nicely how I'm NOT afraid of heights.

So, I finally finish, pack up, leave, and happen to run into the tenant living downstairs. Who, upon finding out that I was cleaning upstairs, promptly invites me in so that I can decide whether I'd like to have a job cleaning her place as well. Of course at that moment the very last thing I want to do is even think about cleaning somebody else's place, but I was polite and took the tour and you would not believe the bathroom! I've never seen anything like it. It was actually two adjoining bathrooms EXACTLY the width of my claw-foot tub. I kid you not. In the first room a tub half the length of a regular one fit right in between the two walls on one side, and a litter box was on the other side. In the second room there was a small vanity on one end and a toilet on the other, with barely any room to move around. I got claustrophobic just peeking inside.

And within ten minutes I also realize that this 80-year-old-woman, bless her soul, has major memory problems as she tells me the same things over and over. I decide to leave until I realize it's raining outside, except that the term "raining" is inadequate as it's a torrential downpour! Again, I've never seen anything like it. (The next day I read that they suspect a tornado hit parts of Hamilton.) So we go to her kitchen to wait for the storm to calm down a bit when I notice mice droppings EVERYWHERE. On the floor, top of the fridge, on the counter, you name it. Before you know it I have a broom in hand and am cleaning the floor (telling her it's the one free cleaning she's gonna get) while she asks me the exact same questions she asked a few minutes before and I'm wondering if I've ended up in some kind of twilight zone. Honestly! Here I am, bone tired, cleaning the floor of a memory-impaired woman I don't even know living in a mice-filled house with the narrowest set of bathrooms I've ever seen PRAYING for the rain to ease up so I can walk the half hour to my own home and finally fall into bed. Too funny.

And that, my friends, was Day 3. Snort.

black and white

Yuck indeed!

Better, no?

day 2

Which means that now I really AM tired and sore! Snort. One more day to go this week, but why, oh why did I leave the largest, dirtiest and warmest room for last? And it was hot today too as we got our first taste of summer. The worst part though was finding this poor little mouse stuck on one of those horrible glue traps first thing in the morning. It was obviously in distress, and while I can understand people not wanting mice around, I still hate to see any living creature suffer. I couldn't rescue it though, and I didn't see anything around that I could use to end its life quickly and humanely. Poor thing. I ended up leaving it because I didn't know what to do, but I hope it doesn't live much longer. Sigh.

Okay, a quick before-and-after shot of one of the baseboards to give you an idea of what I'm up against, and then I'm outa here!

spring break

Well, more like spring clean. Except not at my house, not that it couldn't use it, snort. No, in addition to cleaning houses as a part-time income stream, I'm adding something a bit new this week by cleaning up a vacant apartment for a landlord before new tenants are acquired. How I came about this position is a bit of a fluke, but if it works out maybe I can clean up more apartments for him when tenants move out. The kicker is that the state of this apartment is the worst he's seen in 15+ years of renting. Yikes! That means I've got my work cut out for me. Big time. But, I've gotten super bored with regular weekly maintenance, and in all the houses I've been the biggest satisfaction has come out of getting it really clean the first time. I even made one client almost cry once when she saw how I had "magically" transformed her tub from black to white. Said she'd never seen it that white in seven years. Score! (Pssst, those Magic Erasers really do work if you have enough elbow grease.) So, this could work out well enough, especially if I could get some work from other landlords too.

But first I have to prove myself. And wash walls, baseboards, floors, stairs and who-knows-what-else. Apparently the place is so bad they're even completely replacing the bathroom and kitchen. So yes, I'm somewhat worried. I've seen a fair bit in my stint of cleaning houses (cat, dog and people poop in places you wouldn't even believe, for starters), but maybe this is even worse than what I've encountered so far. And I'm already anticipating a sore body (better start stretching now!) and very tired bones at the end of each day. Which hopefully a long soak in the tub WILL alleviate. For now though I better put up a little sign on my blog:

Gone Cleaning!

Hope to be back by the end of the week. Wish me luck! I think I'm gonna need it....

shorn

Of hair that is. In a sort of science experiment gone mad, I decided to see what would happen if I didn't bother getting my really short hair cut for six months. Now that doesn't sound too wild, but you don't know my hair. Well! The results made even my hairdresser gasp today when I turned around and showed her the back of my head. I had somehow sprouted these enormous silver wings that while not looking too bad in front, appeared as if they were trying to escape out back but without a clue as to the direction for their emergency flight. Meanwhile, a disgruntled middle contingent of hair decided that they had had just about enough of this craziness and rose up en masse to leave. Yep, a whole section of hair had started curling upwards (I have naturally wavy hair) in the strangest-looking formation ever witnessed by any hair professional. I kid you not. That gasp I mentioned earlier was NOT just embellishment for comedic effect. It was a true, albeit horrified, appreciation for what my hair can do when left to its own devices. Snort. So, it finally came off today. My only regret is that I didn't think to take a photo first to show you just how rebellious my hair can be, and that I wasn't able to take a photo of the mounds of hair left on the floor. About three heads and six pounds worth! Well, that's what the hairdresser said. Who now regrets ever doubting me when I said my hair grows faster than the average person the first time I ended up in her shop. WAY faster. :)

salad anyone? ;)

a cleansing breath

"No thought, no reflection, no analysis, no cultivation, no intention; let it settle itself." —TILOPA

a day late I know ;)

Like many families, mine is incredibly screwed up, and like a lot of other mother-daughter relationships, ours is complicated enough that even picking out a Mother's Day card can be tricky. I still haven't resolved all of the issues between us, but yesterday I wanted to focus on some of the good things I've inherited or learned. These include:

* blue eyes (the only one of five kids)
* hair that will turn silver
* a love of words and writing
* a love of antiques and collectables
* the ability to stretch a dollar like nobody's business
* the skill to clean house in the most efficient way possible
* an eye for colour/design so that every home looks warm and inviting
* figuring out by example how I do NOT want to live my life
* recognizing the importance of being passionate about something
* most valuable of all, the ability to find humour in almost everything

the life of a tulip

"Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!"

Snort. No, it's not at Christmas that I clearly empathize with the Grinch (although, depending on the kind of year I've had, LOL), but when the weather turns warmer and the windows get flung open and I have to listen to other people's music, that's when you'll hear me reciting the familiar line above. I mean, it's bad enough having to be privy to people's inane yakking on cell phones everywhere (what, you can't go for a walk or bus ride without talking to someone?), but being forced to listen to someone else's music is one of my major pet peeves. Being a not-quite-recovered-enough curmudgeon, I have MANY pet peeves, wink, but that one is probably the biggest. Maybe it's because I love the sound of stillness (although I don't mind things like birds chirping or trains whistling), or maybe it's because if I do have background music on it's likely to be of the classical variety. No, what I don't understand is people's need to have their car stereos blasting, or worse, bringing their radios outside with them. Um, hello? What makes you think I want to listen to your crappy music? Why should I have to be subjected to that? And why are you so afraid of silence? As far as I'm concerned it's all noise pollution. I appear to fall in the minority though as music is everywhere and others don't seem to mind it as much.

But who is the worst offender on our street? If you guessed the lawnmower man who lives right across from me, then you're absolutely right. And is it the mowing of the sidewalk that bothers me the most? No, even though I think it's quite insane, that I can handle (even at three hours at a time), as it doesn't happen every day. Now, you might think me positively loony when you read what I'm about to say next, but it's his whistling that drives me around the bend. I know, I know, it doesn't seem such a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but his whistling is so high-pitched and shrill and loud and constant that I can hear it clearly at the back of the house, and even when I'm watching TV. No matter what the volume, his whistling (and he does it for hours on end) pierces through so that I have no choice but to close the windows. Does it bother others as well? Yes. Can I talk to him about it? No. After a, um, incident a couple of years ago (remember, I'm curmudgeonly), we are no longer on speaking terms. Have I considered strangling him with my bare hands? Yes, of course I have! Snort. In fact, enough people have heard me confess to wanting to do exactly that, so if a homicide were to occur more than one suspecting finger would rightly be pointed my way. Okay, I exaggerate, but it's not like I can call the police to report him. Can you imagine the exchange that would take place?

Police officer: What seems to be the problem Ma'am?
Me: My neighbour is making too much noise.
Police officer: How, specifically?
Me: Um, he's whistling. But really loud!
Police officer: [silence at first] Ma'am, is this a crank call?
Me: No! And you have to do something about it! Please?
Police officer: [click]

LOL

No, I don't think THAT would go over very well. I'm just going to have to practise being Zen-like as much as possible, I suppose. And enjoy the times when he's NOT whistling. But hey, blogging about it sure helped! ;)

hmmm, maybe I should try this?

Snort.

Cagney & Lacey

Anyone remember this show? It ran from 1982 to 1988 and was one of my favourites. I loved the characters (two strong female cops in a male-dominant profession played by Sharon Gless and Tyne Daly), their friendship, the storylines, and the exploration of personal/social issues. What has stayed with me the most though is the memory of the twinges of envy I used to feel watching any given episode, and recognizing years later that what I had been envious or wistful of was their passion. It didn't matter if they were tired or bored or had personal problems; they always seemed committed and passionate about their work. Struggling at the time with what I was going to do when I grew up, I hoped that there was work that I could be equally fervent about. I STILL don't know what to do when I grow up, snort, although I do have a better sense of what it is I love.

Well, it's the show's 25th anniversary (what, WHERE did the time go?) and MGM Home Video is releasing Season 1 (technically season two when Sharon Gless replaced the original actress) on DVD today. It also contains a two-part documentary and commentary from Gloria Steinem. Hurray!

ta da!

Decided that since I no longer have a tulip outside, I'd buy and bring one indoors! I'll be taking a photograph each day until it no longer blooms (kind of a time-lapse project) and will post the sequence of photos when complete.

Be pink, my pretty! :)

sunday humour

snippet

At 3 minutes and 4 seconds after 2am on May 6th of this year (only a few hours away!), the time and date will be 02:03:04/05.06.07.

Make of that what you will! ;)

art is good for the heart

in the bathroom

in my kitchen

and in my computer room!

There's a sale at our local Hamilton Art Gallery this weekend, which I'm hoping to get to although a part of me thinks I shouldn't tempt myself. I'm only allowed to window shop, but have gotten into trouble before at various art shows when I've made that vow, LOL. Still, if I leave the credit cards at home there's little real danger this time. And since I enjoy the pieces of original art I already have, I thought I'd share my three favourites with you. They're bright, cheerful, whimsical, full of life (the artist paints in such a way that the pictures seem almost animated), and they make me happy. The last reason is the best reason, in my opinion, to buy art because even though these paintings are the only thing of any real monetary value in my humble abode (literally everything else is second-hand) and could be considered a future financial investment, I'd never sell them anyway. They're mine. ALL MINE. But you're welcome to have a look. ;)

one of our cherry trees!

my neighbour's tulip

The photo's a bit dark, but you can see some of the white peeking out. I'm so jealous! But hey, at least I get to enjoy it as well. :)

a few laws of the universe ;)

from the inbox:

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Law of Variation:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle will arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.

Law of Consumer Products:
As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop making it.

And a new law proposed by sender of forwarded email:

Law of Gardening:
A lone tulip in the garden will be eaten only hours before it's ready to bloom!

still can't believe it

The tulip bandit has struck again! I woke up this morning to see the awful sight above. The worst part is that it looked as if it was going to bloom soon (wish I'd taken another picture!), and the ironic part is that its life ended the same day it did last year.

There are lessons to be learned from all this I suppose, e.g., life is short, don't take anything for granted, etc., but I'm not really in the mood for lessons right now. Once again I have no idea of its colour (it was still hard to tell yesterday), so I've decided that it would have been a deep pink, like the luscious tulips in the post below.

Not sure if I'll still be here next year (you never know when renting), but if I am I won't be taking any chances. Come fall I'll plant a bunch of tulips of my own (safety in numbers?) and see what happens.

Aw, poor little tulip....

think pink!

the Up films

"Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man." —Jesuit maxim

In 1964, Granada Television made a short feature that was to be the beginning of a most extraordinary documentary series. Fourteen seven-year-old children from diverse backgrounds in England were interviewed to explore the idea that personality and future outcome could be, as suggested by the maxim, determined by age seven. Although this was originally envisioned as a one-time venture, director Michael Apted went back every seven years to re-interview the same subjects. The result, a collection of seven films so far (Seven Up, 7 Plus Seven, 21 Up, 28 Up, 35 Up, 42 Up and 49 Up) is, in my opinion, one of the finest examples of the power of documentary filmmaking ever. Each of these seven films has profoundly moved me, and each one has made me exclaim, "This is why I love documentaries." Do yourself a favour and watch them if you can. You won't be disappointed.

My only complaint? Having to wait until 2013 for the next instalment!

for Krissa

"Each day is a little life; every waking and rising a little birth; every fresh morning a little youth; every going to rest and sleep a little dearth."

—ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (German Philosopher, 1788-1860)

Happiest of Birthdays, my sweet friend! *

(* A friend is one before whom I may think aloud. —RALPH WALDO EMERSON)

p.s. hope you don't mind my blabbing! :)

still hanging on!

Photo was taken two days ago, so it's already grown again. :)

my funny new bike

Well, actually, it's an old bike—a '73 Raleigh 3 speed. I just inherited it (and its sibling) from my mom and stepfather as they decided that given their health problems, it might be wise to stop riding them. Apparently their ages (eighty and ninety respectively) had nothing to do with it. Snort. I'd like to see me still riding a bike at 80!

Anyway, I took it out for a thorough test drive today, and decided that it passed. It's quite a bit heavier than my mountain bike, but I like that. The winds were gusting today at nearly blow-me-over speeds, so I felt safer on a sturdier bike. The handlebars are also higher than I'm used to, but I end up driving with a straighter back, which is probably better anyway. And see the neat side bags? Tested them out when going to the grocery store and it was nice not to have to carry items on my back in my knapsack. My parents had them brought over from that bike-loving country known as Holland, and no wonder! They work great.

Yes, I think this bike will be a keeper. Other than the hideously putrid olive colour—I don't even like green, which may come as a surprise given the colour of this template—I like it just fine. The chain guard and the big front light amuse me, and the fenders will work dandy. And hey, I'll probably even look more Dutch on this baby! ;)

p.s. just realized that the colour of the bike (chain guard is in a different hue) pretty much matches the colour on the right-hand side of the page, LOL!

earth day

How big is your ecological footprint?

Mine's a medium according to this quiz, which isn't too bad, but it could still be better. I also watched An Inconvenient Truth earlier this week, and highly recommend it for those who haven't seen it yet.

Okay, I'm going back out to enjoy the beautiful day! :)

it wasn't my imagination!

According to an article in today's local paper, Southern Ontario usually gets about 132 hours of sun in the first 18 days of April. This year we got a whole 32. Yep, we were robbed of 100 hours of sun! It was also cold, dark and wet. No wonder I felt sun-deprived. Or that my lone tulip didn't grow as fast as last year. So in hopes that it won't meet the same fate and be cruelly decapitated once again, I took a shot of the bulb while it's still nestled safely within.

And see the daffodil? I have no idea where this orphan came from either, but maybe it wanted to keep the tulip company even though it's on the other side of the garden. Hmmm, will anything new show up next year?

Well folks, it's gonna be a beautiful sunny weekend here, and I'm going to enjoy every second of it!

the sun's back!

And in honour of her long-awaited and highly anticipated arrival, here's a poem from the incomparable Mary Oliver:

The Sun

Have you ever seen
anything
in your life
more wonderful

than the way the sun,
every evening,
relaxed and easy,
floats towards the horizon

and into the clouds or the hills,
or the rumpled sea,
and is gone—
and how it slides again

out of the blackness,
every morning,
on the other side of the world,
like a red flower

streaming upward on its heavenly oils,
say, on a morning in early summer,
at its perfect imperial distance—
and have you ever felt for anything

such wild love—
do you think there is anywhere, in any language,
a word billowing enough
for the pleasure

that fills you,
as the sun
reaches out
as it warms you

as you stand there,
empty-handed—
or have you too
turned from this world—

or have you too
gone crazy
for power,
for things?

Oliver, Mary. New and Selected Poems. Boston: Beacon Press, 1992.

know what day it is?

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." —T.S. ELIOT

Besides quote T.S. Eliot day? :)

If you guessed that it's my one-year blogging anniversary, then you're right! Who knew the time would pass by so quickly? And it's been a lot of fun. In addition to being able to express myself, it's also been a way to have on record a few of the things that have caught my attention. I stated at the beginning of 2007 that this was going to be a year of change, so I imagine that some of my future entries may have me explore certain issues, but I'm sure that the hodgepodge nature of my mind will continue to be reflected in these posts. Thank you faithful readers (well, four of you that I know of for sure, snort) for keeping me company.

Where to go from here? Well, last year on this day I started from the beginning, so in keeping with the above quote, I'll start this year from the end! ;)

yes, the pic IS of me this time ;)

"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive from where we started
And know the place for the first time."

—T.S. ELIOT

six feet under

Okay, I admit I cried my eyes out during the last sequence of the final episode of this amazing series set in a family-run funeral home. And it's also the main reason I didn't reply to emails as promptly as I would have liked last week given that there were nearly twenty hours of the 5-disc DVD to watch. I sometimes find it hard to fit in a single DVD during the same time period (yes, even though I don't work full-time, snort), so this mega-viewing marathon was a bit of a reach, but so worth it!

The writing and acting in this show were both excellent, and the subject matter—I was going to say 'refreshing' although that's probably not the best way to describe the topic of death—not addressed before. At least, not in any real depth, and not on TV. And that's what I appreciated the most; it's frank and real handling of an issue that affects each of us. I don't remember the movie Terms of Endearment that well, but I do recall being annoyed by the fact that they never seemed to use the words 'death' or 'dying', as if by using silly euphemisms they could skirt around the unpleasantness of it all. So my hat goes off to this show for allowing viewers to have the chance to think about death in a meaningful way. And to be entertained at the same time. I know it sounds kind of strange as death isn't inherently funny, but I liked the show's dark, even macabre, sense of humour, and I have to admit I looked forward to seeing how they would kill off each week's doomed character. ;)

If I have any quibble with the show at all it would be their depiction of drug use as it began to feel as if everyone and their uncle dabbled with various drugs at some point or another. Now maybe I just live a very sheltered life, but that didn't seem realistic to me and it started to get on my nerves a bit. Still, a minor point most viewers might not even agree with.

Like I said earlier, the final sequence had me in tears. In it, the youngest main character of the family, Claire, drove from Los Angeles to New York to meet her future, while flash-forwards showed when and how each of the key characters would die, including Claire in 2085. It was moving and poignant, and seemed so fitting given the central theme of the show. I even felt a bit bereft afterwards, not wanting it to end, and that too seemed appropriate. I was glad therefore that the DVD included special features discussing the impact of the show, the cast, characters, writing, favourite moments, the look of the show, how it began, and how it ended. It gave me a much-needed feeling of closure.

I think it takes a brave series to kill off its central character when there are three more episodes left, and I applaud Six Feet Under for doing that. And the actor playing that character said something in one of the special feature segments that I really liked, "And if there's one thing about death I can tell you, death will shut you up right quick, so if you have something to say in this lifetime, say it." How true.

Everything changes. And everything ends. Goodbye Six Feet Under. Well done.

what do you see? ;)

Make sure to follow the instructions in the last picture!

in her own words

Doesn't everyone take a photo of sausage* in the supermarket with their phone so they can send it to their Dutch-Canadian friend who lives 15,000 km away??? I mean, really!

Snort. Um, I don't think so, but thank you Susan! Especially for any looks you may have incurred. ;)

* one of the ingredients in Dutch pea soup

Zen saying

"Everything the same, everything distinct."

if you want to write

And who doesn't? But I'm biased, as I can't imagine anything more wonderful than the written word. Okay, cats come awfully close. ;)

Three of the most delightful books on writing that I've come across over the years are Anne Lamott's insightful and rib-splittingly-funny Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (which I'd recommend to anyone even if you DON'T want to write), Dorothea Brande's Becoming a Writer, and Brenda Ueland's If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence and Spirit. The last two books were both written in the 1930's ('34 and '38 respectively), but are just as fresh and relevant today.

Brenda Ueland begins her short but effective closing chapter in If You Want To Write by asking the question, "Why urge everybody to write when the world is so full of writers, and there are oceans of printed matter?" (And just imagine how much fuller those oceans are nearly seventy years later!) "Why should we all use our creative power and write or paint or play music, or whatever it tells us to do?" she continues.
She answers by saying,

Because there is nothing that makes people so generous, joyful, lively, bold and compassionate, so indifferent to fighting and the accumulation of objects and money. Because the best way to know the Truth or Beauty is to try and express it. And what is the purpose of existence Here or Yonder but to discover truth and beauty and express it, i.e., share it with others?

Indeed. And well put. Um, excuse me; I have a few books to reread....

(quotes taken from Chapter XV111 pp. 176-9.)

happy (white!) Easter everyone!

"If we have listening ears, God speaks to us in our own language, whatever that language be." —MAHATMA GANDHI

'twas the day before Easter

now who's the black sheep of the family? ;)

speaking of turning grey

A friend sent me one of those forwarded emails the other day containing some funny observations about the things kids say. This was one of them:

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

Snort.

look!

Can you believe it? Snow in April! And yours truly went out in her bathrobe this morning (brrrr, it was cold) to capture definitive proof of Mother Nature's decidedly warped sense of humour. I feel sorry for the flowers that were starting to come out though. Hope they'll be okay.

ever seen anything like this?

It's a circumhorizontal arc, also known as a fire rainbow. This photograph was taken (no, not by me!) in northern Idaho (near the Washington border) on June 3, 2006. In general, this type of arc appears only when the sun is higher than 58 degrees above the horizon, and its light passes through high-altitude cirrus clouds made up of hexagonal plate crystals. Okay, I don't really know what that all means either (although I AM quite sure that I'm smarter than a fifth-grader, though I WON'T watch the show in case I find out I'm not, LOL), but it sure looks pretty!

And of course, after doing a bit of research to type up the above description, I come across a better explanation after finding out that this photo was originally posted at nationalgeographic.com! Ah, you must always be wary of what lands in your inbox!

The better explanation:

June 19, 2006—It looks like a rainbow that's been set on fire, but this phenomenon is as cold as ice.

Known in the weather world as a circumhorizontal arc, this rare sight was caught on film on June 3 as it hung over northern Idaho near the Washington State border (map of Idaho).

The arc isn't a rainbow in the traditional sense—it is caused by light passing through wispy, high-altitude cirrus clouds. The sight occurs only when the sun is very high in the sky (more than 58° above the horizon). What's more, the hexagonal ice crystals that make up cirrus clouds must be shaped like thick plates with their faces parallel to the ground.

When light enters through a vertical side face of such an ice crystal and leaves from the bottom face, it refracts, or bends, in the same way that light passes through a prism. If a cirrus's crystals are aligned just right, the whole cloud lights up in a spectrum of colors.

This particular arc spanned several hundred square miles of sky and lasted for about an hour, according to the London Daily Mail.

—Victoria Gilman

not going grey FAST enough

There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. —P.G. WODEHOUSE

Snort. Obviously PG and I share a somewhat different opinion when it comes to the greying of locks, and I'd be travelling to the guillotine in no time if he had his way, but I can't wait for my hair to stop producing its pigment. My mom was gracious enough to pass along to me her blue eyes, fair skin with a definite blue undertone, and genes for silver-white hair. My four older siblings were also the lucky recipients of the hair genes, but ended up with brown eyes and not as fair skin. My mom's gorgeous silver hair made its debut while she was still in her thirties, and all of us followed suit. In fact, if you were to line us up, you could tell precisely what order we are age-wise by simply looking at the distribution of salt and pepper. My eldest sibling in his early fifties has less than a fifth of pepper left (I'm so jealous!), I as the youngest am saddled with about 3/5 pepper, and the other three siblings all fall in between. I sprouted my silver wings, as I like to call them, around ten years ago at age 35, so I figure that in about another ten years I'll finally be able to sport a super short and almost completely white (aren't YOU jealous?) lovely do. In the meantime I have to be satisfied with my wings, a lock of silver in front and a V-shaped streak in the back. Oh, and my eyebrows are starting to sport a few white hairs, which I admit does look a little odd. I guess I have to be a bit more patient though, but lately I keep hearing myself singing that old line, "I wanna wash that brown right out of my hair!" At least, I think that's how it used to go. ;)

maxine on getting older

ode to aging

To commemorate her 69th birthday, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was My Favorite Things from the legendary movie The Sound Of Music.

Here are the lyrics she used:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Cadillac's and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short, shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.

When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Ms. Andrews deservedly received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes.

rebellion by proxy

Remember how in the meme yesterday I confessed that once upon a time I had a red-or-black-would-be-really-cool-for-a-wedding-dress notion? Before deciding that that might not be a valid enough reason to get married? Well, reading in the tub today (one of the advantages of NOT being married or having kids or working at a regular job is that you can take a bath ANY time of day or night), I happened to come across a blurb for a book called My Wedding Dress. It's supposed to be an anthology in the tradition of Dropped Threads, which I absolutely loved, and how in keeping with my motto of Why Do It When You Can Read About It Instead. Apparently there's even a section about women who have made non-traditional choices when it comes to wedding apparel. What a relief—now I can vicariously enjoy being a rebellious bride without having to compromise my single status! Snort.

p.s.

Sat outside for the first time today—woohoo!!

the meme game

Dakota tagged me (thank you!) for the following meme:

A) Available or Single? – definitely single, but MAYBE available for the right person

B) Best Friends? – online or offline?

C) Cake or Pie? – cake, specifically, real Dutch mocha cake, yum

D) Drink of Choice? – water, as I don't consider my must-have coffee in the morning a choice per se ;)

E) Essential item? – computer

F) Favourite Colour? – to wear: blue, to look at: yellow, pink, red, orange – all the cheerful hues

G) Gummi Bears or Worms? – neither, yuck!

H) Hometown? – past: Maasdijk, South Holland, the Netherlands, present: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, future:?

I) Indulgence? – gosh, I guess some would argue that by not having a regular full-time job my whole lifestyle is indulgent

J) January or February? – February as that brings us closer to spring

K) Kids and Names? – Adrian Mole and Kazumi Joy, but because those names didn't really suit kids, I chose to adopt cats instead ;)

L) Life is incomplete without? – creativity, of whatever sort

M) Marriage Date? – well, I confess to fantasizing about wearing a red or black dress when I was young (the only detail of the ceremony that seemed to interest me), but wisely concluded that rebelling against colour wasn't a sufficient enough reason to ever get married :)

N) Number of Siblings? – four (4!), all older, haha!

O) Oranges or Apples? – both, I refuse to choose, or compare ;)

P) Phobias/Fears? – spiders when I was young

Q) Favourite Quote? – I'm a quotaholic, they're ALL my favourites

R) Reasons to smile? – sunshine, books, cats in general, KJ in particular

S) Season? – spring, fall, winter, summer - in that order

T) Tag 3 People? – anyone reading is welcome to play

U) Unknown Fact About Me? – ah, but if I told you it would no longer be unknown!

V) Vegetable You Hate? – mushrooms, ugh, they ought to be banned :(

W) Worst Habit? – none, I am nearly perfect, and if you believe that, ha!

X) X-rays You've Had? – dental primarily

Y) Your Favourite Foods? – desserts, but since I have no willpower and WILL consume the entire thing in a time period too embarrassing for any decent person to admit, I rarely have them in the house

Z) Zodiac? – Scorpio, but a very early Scorpio, so consider myself an honorary late Libra as well

Whaaaaaaat, no more questions? I don't WANT this alphabet to stop! :))

kids write the darndest things

One of my brothers sent this to me a few days ago.

In a Catholic elementary school test, kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. They came up with the following answers:

1. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.

2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears.

3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.

4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.

5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah.

6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

7. Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.

9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

13. David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.

14. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

15. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager.

17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

19. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.

20. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.

22. The Epistels were the wives of the Apostles.

23. One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony which is another name for marriage.

25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

in honour of spring

"One swallow does not make a summer, but one skein of geese, cleaving the murk of a March thaw, is the spring.

A cardinal, whistling spring to a thaw but later finding himself mistaken, can retrieve his error by resuming his winter silence. A chipmunk, emerging for a sunbath but finding a blizzard, has only to go back to bed. But a migrating goose, staking two hundred miles of black night on the chance of finding a hole in the lake, has no easy chance for retreat. His arrival carries the conviction of a prophet who has burned his bridges." —ALDO LEOPOLD

from A Sand County Almanac

yum!

Jealous? Ha! I would be too if this lovely pea soup wasn't sitting on MY stove. ;)

because you can't beat the classics

Snort. I've seen this one before (in fact I believe the poem, although not the image, is in KJ's blog somewhere), but hey, it's worth repeating!

spring has soon sprung?

Spring supposedly kicks in at 8:07pm tonight, but I don't know. It doesn't seem that warm yet, and worse, according to The Weather Network's Spring Outlook report, most of Ontario will see below normal temperatures this season. Hmmm, not quite what I had ordered. ;)

did you know?

The sun is precisely 395 times larger than the moon, and is precisely 395 times farther away from the earth than the moon. But the sun and moon appear the same size when seen from earth because of the precise ratio of the distances.

A friend of mine who sent me this tidbit absolutely loves anything to do with astronomy, and I don't blame him. It's fascinating, but in my opinion almost too fascinating as I find some of the facts and numbers involved so astounding it's as if I can't wrap my brain around the enormity of it all. I also get overwhelmed just sensing some of the possible implications to the point where I feel my noggin might shut down if I think about it for too long. It wouldn't of course, but it feels like it might, so I refuse to think about it at all. And that, of course, is just plain silly. So, here's a site that presents a different astronomy image every day along with a brief explanation—maybe I can digest some of it if it's bite-sized enough? ;)

Zen saying

"Just this."

the Canadian books

I thought I'd do this entry because quite a few of the titles that I had bolded in the meme list were Canadian, and thus not as well-known or read as most of the others. Which is a shame as many of them are quite excellent. I also found a list at home of the top 100 Canadian books as chosen by reader members of one of Canada's biggest bookstores, and thought it'd be fun to do a comparison. First, here are the Canadian titles (at least, the ones that I recognized) as they appeared in the meme list:

8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davies)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)

In the following list (links are included to a few of my personal favourites) I'm going to include the top ten of Canada's Best, plus any of their other books (and that of the authors above) that made the list:

1. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
2. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
3. Fall On Your Knees (Ann-Marie Macdonald)
4. The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)
5. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
6. Stories From The Vinyl Café (Stuart Mclean)
7. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
8. Anne of Green Gables (Lucy Maud Montgomery)
9. No Great Mischief (Alistair Macleod)
10. Runaway (Alice Munro)
15. Fifth Business (Robertson Davies)
16. The Wars (Timothy Findley)
17. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
41. Alias Grace (Atwood)
42. The Way The Crow Flies (Macdonald)
43. Unless (Shields)
44. Oryx and Crake (Atwood)
45. In The Skin of a Lion (Ontdaatje)
46. The Blind Assassin (Atwood)
47. Family Matters (Mistry)
48. Larry's Party (Shields)
49. Dropped Threads (Shields)
51. Such a Long Journey (Mistry)
52. The Diviners (Laurence)
53. The Penelopiad (Atwood)
54. Lives of Girls And Women (Munro)
55. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Findley)
56. The Piano Man's Daughter (Findley)
57. Cat's Eye (Atwood)
59. The Edible Woman (Atwood)
62. The Robber Bride (Atwood)
63. Anil's Ghost (Ondaatje)
64. Pilgrim (Findley)
67. Running in the Family (Ondaatje)
71. The Love of a Good Woman (Munro)
81. Surfacing (Atwood)
87. Spadework (Findley)
89. The Deptford Trilogy (Davies)
91. The Tent (Atwood)
93. Open Secrets (Munro)

As you can tell, we Canucks really like the work of the Canadian authors included in the meme list, and I can only hope that their books will gain greater international acclaim. The one name that surprised me the most when I didn't see it on the meme list was that of Alice Munro. She's a superb short story teller (some consider her the best short story writer alive) and her work IS, thankfully, gaining widespread attention outside of Canada. Other authors who had a number of books on the Canadian list but not on the meme list include Farley Mowat, Douglas Coupland and Pierre Burton.

It was interesting too to see that seven of the Canadian titles in the meme were also in the top 10 Canuck list, and that Anne of Green Gables was #8 on both lists.

p.s. now why do I have the feeling that this will not be the last of book list entries? :))

a taste of spring

Am pleased to report that even though it wasn't quite warm enough yet to sit outside today, I WAS able to wear my denim jacket as opposed to denim coat when I did my errands—woohoo!

p.s. am working on the Canadian book list as we speak, so to speak ;)

a record

What's going on? I've never posted this many entries in one day before! Ah yes, now I remember, I was going to start my income tax today....

(note to self: never mind....)

kinda cool

You know how some people Google themselves? Well, for fun today I entered my name in our online public library database instead, and to my surprise there were five entries! I'd forgotten some research reports I'd written for work years ago (80's and 90's), so I guess if I'm ever asked I wouldn't technically be lying if I said I'm a published author. Oh yeah, one of my humour columns appeared in the local paper once too, so I guess that counts as well. Snort.

(note to self: I meant what I said in my previous note)

weather

Canadians (and permanent residents) are a bit obsessed with the weather. How do we prove this? By finding it very difficult to have ANY conversation without at least throwing in some reference to what's going on outdoors. Maybe because we enjoy such variability in our glorious four seasons, or maybe because we're conversationally-challenged. ;) (Yes, living in this country allows me to make fun of our tendencies, snort.) Either way, to make sure you don't feel left out, I've managed to add (don't ask me how, lol) a nice little weather box in the side-bar so that you know EXACTLY what kind of weather is going on, right here, right now. Feel free to discuss it with me. I have experience. :)

(note to self: stop using blog as procrastination tool)

blasphemy!

What did I just hear while posting the previous entry? The theme music to The Mary Tyler Moore Show used in a COMMERCIAL! Oh dear readers, is nothing considered sacred anymore? ;)

a cranky post/er ;)

Snort.

Why the crankiness? Well, yesterday's post took a fairly long time to get up, not so much because of its content (although that contributed as well), but because Blogger would not initially let me in to my own blog. I had to sneak in the virtual back door as it were (which took about ten minutes) as I was told I couldn't go to my blog without switching over to Google first. Well! As you all know, I hate not having a choice and HATE being told what to do. ;)

Anyways, apparently EVERYONE is going to get switched over at some point whether they like it or not (no question as to which camp I fall in, LOL), so I suppose I either have to give in, or go somewhere else. Haven't decided yet what I'll do. Part of why I don't want to switch over though is that I like having all those entries on one page, like being able to scroll down to when it all began, and as far as I can see from other blogs the new format only allows a few posts per page. Unless you can still determine the number of entries yourself? Anyone out there know?

all about books

Dakota invited readers to participate in a meme involving a list and books. Well, considering that I love both, it doesn't get much better than that! Anyway, in this meme you bold the books you've read, italicize the books you want to read, and leave blank the ones you're not interested in. I finally got around to doing it myself and here it is! Thanks Dakota.

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

Yikes. And I call myself a reader? Well, at least I've read some of the Canadian books (as it should be I guess), but I'm embarrassed at the number of classics I HAVEN'T read. I mean, Dickens and Austen? For shame! Ah, but this list makes me want to compile a bunch of my own of course. Namely:

How Could They Not Have Included THESE On The Above List?
Books I Feel I SHOULD Read,
Books I Feel Slightly Bad About NOT Wanting To Read,
Books I Feel Slightly Guilty About Having Enjoyed,
Books I Can't Believe I Ever Read,
Books I Can't Understand All The Fuss About,
Books I Know For Sure I'll Never Get Around To,
Books I Already Own and am Determined To Get Around To Eventually,
Books I Already Own and Feel I Should Read but Know Almost For Sure I Won't ;)

Oh, can you guess which two books on the list above are included in my profile as favourites? Um, without checking it first? ;)

And here's a short list of books I actually AM reading at the moment:

Above Us Only Sky – Essays by Marion Winik
A Whack On The Side Of The Head: How You Can Be More Creative by Roger von Oech
For The Love Of Books: 115 Celebrated Writers On The Books They Love Most by Ronald B. Shwartz

Okay, your turn! ;)

pic for paula

time's value

(E-mailed to me the other day.)

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

The realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who
Gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth
To a premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor
Of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have.

more

While Googling the other day I found some other quotes on writing and books that I quite liked. Unwisely probably I did not double-check these either. ;)

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher." —FLANNERY O'CONNOR

"Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels." —P.G. WODEHOUSE

"A good novel tells us the truth about its hero, but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author." —G.K. CHESTERTON

"A house without books is like a room without windows." —HORACE MANN

"One writes to make a home for oneself, on paper, in time, in others' minds." —ALFRED KAZIN

because you never know what will lead to what

This entry began as a response to mum of two's (and a half?) comment in my last post, but took on a life of its own after I started doing a bit of research, so I figured I might as well post it as a separate entry.

Snort. Yeah, it IS an ignorant quote, but I couldn't resist teasing you. I Googled Geoffrey as well, and didn't find much other than that the quote first appeared in the New York Journal-American in 1961. And in one site when I clicked on a link to get more information all it said was, "Alive: no." Well, not a big surprise with quotes like that! :))

Good grief! No wonder we both had a hard time finding anything—the last name was misspelled! But the saddest part is that while Googling the quote I found his name on I don't know how many sites ALL spelled the wrong way. The author's surname is actually COTTERELL, and hopefully that will give us more to go on.

You'd think I'd know by now though to carefully check quotes and their authors before posting them as I've run into this sort of trouble before. Usually finding that what I thought was a full quote was actually only half of a quote. And of course the most interesting half wasn't what I had originally included! The checking of various sites also led to me writing a completely different post than intended, and that itself was a reminder to never assume that I know for sure what I'll be writing about. It's also a lesson to trust the creative process and go with the flow.

But back to Geoffrey Cotterell who started all of this. Unfortunately I didn't find out much more even with the correct spelling, but it turns out the bloke was an English writer born in 1919, who published a number of books including Go Said The Bird, Amsterdam; The Life of a City, and Tiara Tahiti, which I believe was turned into a film. I also found a couple of old but amusing Time Magazine book reviews for Strait and Narrow and Westward the Sun. But I'm not sure if he is in fact not alive, as a couple of sites only included his birth (i.e. 1919-) and not his death, so he may still be a very much alive and kicking (although not exactly young) 88-year-old.

Oh, and who knew that the quote would also end up in a book that I happen to have sitting on one of my bookshelves? And that I would only end up realizing this by doing a search on the Internet? Yes, you just never know what will lead to what!

is this true, mum of two?! ;)

"In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is." —GEOFFREY COTTRELL

clarifying an earlier comment ;)

Ha! That Maxine....

enough already!

I am SICK TO DEATH of hearing about ____ and ____ in the local nightly news. And that's part of the problem. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll probably watch the Oscars on Sunday night just like many other people, but that doesn't mean I want to be exposed to details of the personal lives of American celebrities every single day. Hello? Most of that stuff used to be nicely confined to tabloids and specific television shows one could simply avoid, but now there are times when the second storyline in our local (Canadian, I might add!) daily news show is about one of their stupid antics. Um, why is this considered news? Aren't there more important things happening in the world?

Grrrr.

don't forget...

...to stop and smell the flowers

am I a Luddite?

(A Luddite is generally defined as one who opposes technical or technological change.)

Maybe, snort. No, that telephone is not the one I use anymore, but in some ways it might as well be. And I like having it around, as a nostalgic reminder if nothing else. I did finally graduate to a cordless phone about a year ago, but in defiant opposition to the tyranny of multi-tasking (those of you who KNOW me know how I feel about that!) I still refuse to do anything else when using it. Oh, but I do like walking around when talking to someone, so can better see the value of it. But a cell phone? Nope, not me. I don't WANT to be accessible at all times, thank you very much. In fact, half the time my ringer is off anyway as I often just get annoyed at being interrupted. What can I say? I'm a true introvert!

MP3 players? iPods? I'm surprised I even know the terms, although if I'm honest, about all I know about them is that they're musical gadgets of some kind. I have a Pentium II computer with, wait for it, a whole 1.96 GB. Sometimes I even have to clean my disk space if I have too many windows open and a blog is particularly large. I have Windows 98 and just tell Microsoft to go away when it presents me with Windows updates. This new Vista thing? Not interested.

Now am I telling you this because I think I'm in the right? No. I realize in fact that I should probably try to keep up more, but just can't be bothered. I guess I kinda figure that the stuff I have is still working well enough, and given my natural dislike of change (yes Dakota, I know, LOL), I prefer to leave things as they are. Snort.

:)

Please paste your submission into the body of an e-mail. Like the Buddhists say: NO ATTACHMENTS.

(Found in a website's submission guidelines.)

from my inbox

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."

"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval, and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be the masculine gender ("el computador"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on
2. They have a lot of data, but still can't think for themselves
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem, and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model

Snort. What do you think?

sunday morning ritual

The dark blob in the lower left-hand corner? KJ of course!

ah, but when? WHEN?!

"Winter always turns to spring." —NICHIREN

winter wonderland

February 14/07, snow as ordered by a certain mum of two, no doubt ;)

Why, you might be asking yourself, are there lawn chairs on my deck in the middle of winter? No, it's not extreme laziness on my part (not that you were thinking that of course—were you?), but my landlord screwed them down permanently. I don't mind. If nothing else I can quickly see how much snow has accumulated. And see the ground right below the fence? That's how close to the house the train tracks are!

romance versus love

"In real love, you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person." —MARGARET ANDERSON

I first came upon this quote in Gloria Steinem's Revolution From Within, specifically in Chapter Six, Romance versus Love. I liked the quote, and the rest of the chapter as well. It made sense, and her argument that romance has its source in incompleteness of self while characteristics of real love are similar to marks of high self-esteem, was one I could see. She outlined those characteristics (p. 275-6) and I think they're worthwhile listing:

* Each partner feels loved for an authentic self. Romance, on the other hand, is about possessing and changing another person.

* Each one knows she or he could get along without the other—but doesn't wish to. Free choice is essential to love. We can't say yes to anyone unless we can also say no.

* There is plenty of room for playfulness, lightness and humor. When two realities bump up against each other in intimacy, romance views the contradictions with anger or disillusionment, but love acknowledges them with humor.

* Each partner feels empathy for the other. Each partner maintains a strong internal center, yet can also see life through the other's eyes.

* Love is not about power. If we love someone, we want them to continue being the essence of themselves. If so, then we can't own, absorb, or change them. We can only help them to become what they already are.

Right on Gloria! And as she also aptly states, "There are many more people trying to meet the right person than to become the right person."

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

guess Blogger didn't like the note

How do I know? Well, when I went to leave comments on Dakota's fine blog, it wouldn't let me see the letters I needed to type in for visual verification. All I got was a red X. And then when I went to add this post it had me sign in again as if it didn't have a clue as to who I was! Guess I've been told. Snort.

p.s. yeah, I know, I'm sure it's got nothing to do with me personally, but hey, as a blog writer I get to take artistic license with just about everything, no?

note to Blogger

Yes, I know that the new version of Blogger is available and I know that you want me to switch, but I'm just not ready. And frankly, trying to push me to switch over by having me type in my user name and password when I want to leave comments is not gonna help me do it any quicker. Why? Because (as various family members and friends will attest) I can be very stubborn and HATE being told what to do. Urging and cajoling won't help either. And you know what? I'm not so sure I like the new format I've seen so far anyway. Nah, I'll just stick with what I've got, thank you very much. In other words, leave me alone! Snort.

a traditional Canadian dish

Okay, apparently butter tarts DO qualify as being a real traditional Canadian dish, and I even found a recipe in one of my books. I've never made them myself as I don't care for them much (too sweet for my taste), but in case you want to try it out, here it is:

Butter Tarts — 12 medium

1 cup brown sugar
1 large egg
1/3 cup butter (softened)
1/3 cup raisins
1 tsp. vanilla
2 tablespoons cream (or evaporated milk)

1/4 cup cream (or evaporated milk)
12 uncooked pastry shells

Mix all ingredients except for last two until combined.
Divide filling between the twelve tarts.
Pour a little of the 1/4 cup of cream into each tart dividing equally. Do not stir.

Bake at 425 degrees for 10 minutes. Turn oven down to 350 degrees and bake 10-15 minutes more or until a golden brown.

Let cool in pan. Remove carefully.

good question!

I am interested in real Canadian cooking now, so tell me, what is a traditional Canadian dish?

I hope you didn't think I was ignoring you earlier Dakota, but to be honest I didn't know. "Is there a traditional Canadian dish?" I asked myself. When one of my neighbours and friends was of the opinion that the answer was no because most people here have roots in other countries, I decided that my best bet was to Google. I'm glad I did because the first page I looked up, the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation), asked the same question: Is there such a thing as Canadian cuisine? Whew! At least I'm not a complete idiot I reassured myself. After all, if the CBC has to ask the same question, than the answer isn't completely obvious. And to be honest some of the dishes they end up mentioning, like poutine and tourtière, are in my opinion, more French than Canadian. Hmmm, okay what do other sites say?

Here we go! This blog entry discusses the whole thing in a much more intelligent, articulate way than I could, so I'm gonna let them do it for me.

Oh, and here's a thread tossing around some answers as well, but basically I think few foods would really qualify as being traditional Canadian dishes. At least, not items that the average Canadian would identify or consume on a regular basis. Except maybe Tim Hortons (a national doughnut and coffee shop chain), which is practically revered as a sacred institution.

Ahem, the following is my own personal rant, and NOT the view held by the vast majority of Canadians.

Come on people, what is this strange love affair you have with Tim Hortons? The coffee isn't that great (if you want to have REALLY good coffee then you need to fly over to Holland—on my last trip there I absolutely LOVED every single cup I had in every single restaurant and café) and are you that lazy you can't make your own? You'd really rather hand over your hard-earned money to drink their dreck than learn how to make a half-decent brew yourself? Hmmm?

Um, I hope these sites give you better information than I could Dakota, but I'm also going to use the excuse that since I'm technically not a Canadian, I'm allowed to let myself off the hook! :)

Zen mondo (scripture)

Monk: I have just entered the monastery: please give me some guidance.

Master: Have you eaten your rice gruel?

Monk: Yes, I've eaten.

Master: Then go wash your bowl.

ten super foods

How many of these do you eat?

1. almonds
2. black or green teas
3. tomatoes
4. salmon
5. broccoli
6. dark chocolate—70% cocoa solids
7. garlic
8. apples
9. pomegranates
10. yoghurt

Okay, I admit, I originally included in brackets why these are supposed to be super foods, but to be honest I didn't know what half of the terms were and how as a responsible blog writer can I include stuff I don't know the meaning of? Snort.

By the way, I consume pretty much all of them except for almonds (I have shelled peanuts or sunflower seeds instead), and pomegranates—too messy! :)

How about you?

Oh, just rifling through my file drawer I found another 10 super foods list! Here goes:

* sweet potatoes
* grape tomatoes
* skim or 1% milk (or soy milk)
* broccoli
* wild salmon
* crisp-breads (like Wasa)
* butternut squash
* citrus fruits
* beans
* spinach or kale

There. Now you can't say I never provided you with nutritional advice. ;)

recipe time

Because I can't stop thinking about food I decided I would give you the recipe for my pea soup. I must warn you though that I'm a lazy cook and don't believe in precise measurements (which can result in a slightly different dish every time), pre-soaking, rinsing (surely a little dirt can't hurt!), or pureeing. I also usually prefer recipes with no more than four ingredients and less than ten minutes of preparation time. Like I said, I'm lazy.

Just As Good As My Mom's (Or Even Better!) Pea Soup

* 1 bag of dried peas (and remember, don't bother rinsing or pre-soaking—who has the time?)
* 2 (at least) onions, chopped
* 2 (or however many you like) celery stalks, chopped
* 3 (or however many you want) carrots, chopped
* some people use potatoes (I don't)
* salt and pepper to taste
* many cups of water (okay, about 8-10, or enough to leave 1-2 inches of boiling room at the top of whatever pot you use)
* 1 smoked sausage (also known as Farmer's or coil sausage I believe, or "rookworst" if you happen to live near a Dutch store)

Take the smoked sausage and let it well up (but don't boil!) in a pot of water. Remove the sausage when it looks nice and plump (maybe twenty minutes?) and put aside for later. Take the water the sausage was in and use that as part of the cooking water (that way you'll get some of the flavour already). Dump in (yes, no need to be all precise about it, LOL) the rest of the ingredients in a big pot (remember to leave room at the top) and let simmer, covered, for a good long while. Two hours minimum I would say, but really, the longer this soup simmers the better so if you have the time, three or four hours is fine as well. Cut up the sausage in pieces (small or large, whatever you want) and throw them back into the soup about half to three-quarters of an hour before you think it's done.

Oh, and anything you may have read about how the soup thickens and tastes even better the next day is absolutely true. But don't worry about how thick the soup is when you warm it up again as it'll get thinner with cooking, so don't you be diluting it! Make sure to cook a nice big batch and put the leftovers in containers for later. Yum!

a treat or a temptation—you decide

Häagen-Dazs Mayan chocolate: described as a rich chocolate ice cream with a fudge swirl and a hint of cinnamon

Indeed. I bought a container today as it was on sale for half-price and I wanted to try this new flavour, but most importantly because I forgot why I had banned this gooey delight so many years ago. I must say though that I started out well enough and had three scoops in a bowl after lunch for dessert. I then had another three scoops in a bowl after dinner for dessert. The three words "in a bowl" is key however because I forgot the cardinal rule about Häagen-Dazs: never EVER stick a spoon (no matter how small) in the container and proceed to eat. Repeat, NEVER ever! Before I knew it the entire container was gone and I remembered how I used to inhale this mound of sugar within half an hour at least once a week in my earlier years. I then made the mistake of looking at the Nutrition Facts and learned that I had consumed 80 (eighty!) grams of fat (48 of which were saturated), which represented 124% of the recommended daily value. Yikes. I quickly consoled myself with the knowledge though that I had also consumed 8 grams of fibre and 20 grams of protein although somehow that didn't really seem to lessen the impact of the number 80. Sigh.

Ah well. Luckily I have been blessed with a fast-working metabolism, so am not too worried. And if I happen to buy it again, I'll make sure to remember the rule!

(still) speaking of food…

…I ran across this page a while ago poking a bit of fun at, well, traditional Dutch cooking, and as much as I may feel compelled to vigorously defend my culinary heritage (I've lived in Canada for over 30 years but still retain Dutch citizenship), I can't really say they're wrong, snort. But I will say that even though the meals my mom cooked might have appeared bland, they tasted anything but. Man, she's a good cook! Make sure to check out the recipes, which include some of my favourite Dutch foods—yum!

Um, not to boast or anything, and my recipe is a bit different from the one included in the link, but I must say I make an EXCELLENT pea soup. Just saying. :)

you are what you eat

Well, if that's the case, then some will consider me mushy, bland and boring. What am I? Oatmeal! Yep, I eat oatmeal every single day. Except for the occasional eggs, sausage and toast eaten at a restaurant, I've pretty much had oatmeal for breakfast for at least the past ten years. Why? Because it's the only food that sticks to my ribs for at least three hours. I've tried a lot of other things, but everything else leaves me famished in less than half that time, and believe me, not only does my blood sugar level drop quickly, but my good humour as well. Now I'm not talking about instant oatmeal, which is just a whole lot of sugar as far as I'm concerned. No, I make oatmeal with the stuff you use for baking, or sometimes when I want to feel even healthier, the steel cut kind. With soymilk, not water.

The other habit I won't give up on is having my big meal of the day at noon. Whatever I would normally have for dinner I have at lunchtime instead (even when working I'd simply bring something I could heat up in the microwave), and the old sandwich and fruit I have for dinner. Works for me as the few times when I have deviated from it my system didn't like it at all. If I don't have a big meal at noontime I could have three dinners in a row and still end up feeling hungry by nine. Strange, I know, but that's me I guess.

Oh, and I used to love the UK television show You Are What You Eat, but no longer have cable so can't watch it anymore. Pity.

what kind are you? :)

"There are two kinds of people in this world: those who divide everything into two groups, and those who don't." —KENNETH BOULDING

favourite movie I saw last year

Okay, it was the only one I saw (in a theatre that is), but I think it still would have been my favourite even had I seen more. I saw it exactly one year ago today (happened to keep the stub which I don't normally do, but that's how I know), and in my opinion it was a phenomenal film.

I remember being so moved that I was surprised that when it ended people got up as if nothing had happened. Surprised that they were physically capable of getting up and leaving, as I myself seemed stuck in my chair and wasn't quite ready to get up even when the credits had finished rolling. I remember struggling to keep my tears in check (hate crying in front of others) and going to the bathroom to have a bit of a cry there, instead. I remember walking home in a daze determined not to let the tears come until I was in my own space. When I did finally get home I remember letting go and weeping (not crying, but weeping) for I don't know how long. The incredible sadness of the film haunted me for days, and when I accidentally heard its theme song on the radio it stirred up my emotions afresh. And I remember leaving the movie theatre thinking that if I didn't see another film for the rest of the year (which turned out to be prophetic), it wouldn't matter as I'd already seen the best one.

The movie in question was Brokeback Mountain, one that I'm sure you're all familiar with because if nothing else it spawned the development of "brokeback" as a silly euphemism. And that's a shame because whatever your views are on same-sex relationships, the film deserved better than that.

What I personally thought was so wonderful about the movie was how it took a very specific theme and made it into a universal story. While it began as an exploration of two men who couldn't accept their own homosexuality (or bisexuality, if you will) as much as their society couldn't accept it either, it became a larger story of what happens to people who aren't tolerated for whatever reason, who then internalize non-acceptance, and the ripple effect that creates. Not only was the sense of loneliness and suffering so palpable in this film, it was also very clear that this extended far beyond the two main characters. Pretty much everyone lost out, including the two men's wives and children, because how can there be genuine relationships when essential parts of people remain hidden? Again, what I loved about this film was its ability to use one issue as a filter of sorts, demonstrating the consequences of not being accepted and understood, not being able to be open about your greatest passion, no matter what the passion, or the particular circumstance. In other words, the price that everyone pays when people are not allowed to be their true selves.

I mentioned the music earlier, and Gustavo Santaolalla's score is wonderful indeed. "The Wings" is especially lovely, and is the main song most often played in connection with this film. Now while I won't tell you to see it (I imagine that if you haven't already that it's probably not your cup of tea), it certainly had quite the emotional impact on me.

wow…

…is all I can say. Crash. Rent or borrow the DVD if you can. Although some have described it as contrived, and others have criticized it for being bigoted in its own way, I personally thought it was excellent.

love this photo

Taken by a talented local photographer, that church is about a twenty-minute walk down my street. My street! See where the car is climbing the hill? I walk on that sidewalk all the time, but now when I do I try to figure out exactly where and how the photo was taken. I love the black and white, and get drawn in every time. But best of all—the photograph is now mine! I won it in an online auction last month, and even though I'll be paying it off via credit card for a while, I have no regrets. Art is the only luxury (necessity?) I don't mind investing in.

I so disagree

"The worst thing is being alone. Even being with someone you hate is better than being alone."

That was my friend's central assertion the other night as he urged me to learn from him and not end up alone. As he was already both inebriated and upset about other things, I didn't want to argue with him, but I thought it was a profoundly sad statement. I can't imagine how being with someone you hate is not worse, much worse, than being on your own, unless you don't have a good relationship with yourself. Now I happen to need a fair bit of solitude, and don't mind being alone for extended periods of time, but I can't see how being with someone you hate could be an improvement. No, in my opinion there's nothing worse than feeling lonely while with someone. To me there's a huge difference between being alone and being lonely, and I think if there's anything to be learned from my friend's belief it's that if the relationship you have with yourself isn't strong enough, you'll seek in others what you ultimately need to find within yourself.

from the old bard himself

"We know what we are, but know not what we may be." —WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

the year of change

A friend of mine asked me a little while ago whether I had started to implement any of the changes alluded to in my New Year's post. My answer to her was, "Yes and no." Elaborating a bit further I explained that when I wrote that entry I'd been thinking primarily of external changes, but had come to the realization that a better place to start might be internally. Mental shifts first, if you will. Now change, something I normally think of as difficult and scary, is, according to Dakota, not something to be afraid of (or at least, the fear shouldn't stop us), so I'm gonna take her word for it, but she'd better be right! :))

In truth though, I've realized for a while that I want to alter some of the patterns in my life, especially as they relate to interacting with others, and I suppose, myself. I'll be turning forty-five (gasp!) this year (yikes—some days I barely feel mature enough to be 25, let alone 45, and I certainly haven't achieved most of the milestones associated with that age), and believe it's high time I resolve certain issues so that I can start living the life I want. While not necessarily a mid-life crisis, I guess I feel I've reached a midpoint of sorts, and want to become unstuck. So, change it is!

what sound, smell or sight…

…brings you back to childhood?

For me it's the rumble of a far-off plane. Instantly it transports me back to the front steps of our old house on those summer days when it was too hot to do anything but sit. On those steps, vaguely bored yet content, I knew that time stretched out in front of me for well, almost forever, and I was confident somehow that no matter how unhappy and trapped I felt then, things could change, would change, and that all sorts of things were hovering on the horizon. I could sense possibility and potential and luxuriated in the feeling that I still had all the time in the world to see how everything would unfold.

Still love the sound of airplanes in the distance. Always will.

indeed

"You cannot satisfy hunger by drawing a cake." —CHINESE PROVERB

a beautiful angel

read her story here

does this happen to you as well?

You know when you're trying to comment on a post and you're instructed to "type the characters you see in the picture above" when leaving word verification? Well, many times when I do exactly as I'm told it rejects what I type in (even on my own blog) and proceeds to tell me in angry red letters (with an annoyed-looking exclamation mark first no less), Enter the letters as they are shown in the image. Um, that's what I do the first time, but half the time it doesn't believe me! So now I usually type the non-word very slowly, letter by letter, wondering if either my vision is deteriorating even quicker than I had suspected, or if I'm just going barmy. Well yes, MY bet's on the latter as well, but still! How rude of my own page to not trust my ability to recognize letters! Besides, why should I have to verify anything on my own page? Doesn't it know it's ME who's doing the typing?

ice in trees starting to melt

view from kitchen window

speaking of haircuts...

"Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head." —GARRISON KEILLOR

another thing I have yet to understand

Remember the items on my list of 42 Things I Have Yet To Understand? Well, here's another: hairdressers with bad haircuts. This has always fascinated me, and while at some level I get that you can't see yourself the way others do thus making it harder to be objective about your own appearance, I would think that as a hairdresser you'd make damn sure that your own coiffure was up to snuff. After all, if your own hair looks like crap, why would I trust you with mine? Yet time and again I see hairdressers (whether in real life or on TV makeover shows) who look like they ought to be running to the nearest salon begging for an emergency consultation. So how is it that they can transform others but not themselves?

p.s. this certainly doesn't mean that I wouldn't benefit from an emergency salon visit myself, but then again, it's not my livelihood!

le creuset love

Love love LOVE Le Creuset, and am the proud owner of two of their pots, and two frying pans. All bright orange (could there be a more cheerful colour for in the kitchen?), except for the smallest frying pan which is a vivid blue, and happens to make the best single fried egg ever. I can't afford Le Creuset at regular prices though, so have managed to find each piece in various thrift stores.

Ah, what people (unknowingly?) get rid of! The small pot I picked up for $5, and the big pot (excellent for my homemade soups!) was a hefty $20, but that's nowhere near what I'd have to pay for it new. Speaking of new, the little blue frying pan was exactly that, and I have to admit I pretty much gloated as I handed over my $2 and asked the clerk if she realized what she had just sold. Snort.

Just how much do I love Le Creuset? Well, I always get a thrill when I see the pots displayed on cooking shows (especially the orange ones), and I tend to ignore what's cooking in favour of getting a glimpse of the pots. How or why did my love affair begin? Probably because of nostalgia. Growing up my mom had an orange Dutch oven in which she cooked a lot of her meat dishes (and she's an excellent cook although she refuses to believe it), so I suppose I associate orange pots with memories of homemade cooking. I eventually inherited mom's old memory-laden pot, and still use it to make my own oven roast meals.

I resolve...

Okay, I know I said in the last post that I don't make resolutions, but I figured a few blogging ones wouldn't hurt. Here goes:

1. I resolve to write entries more frequently
2. I resolve to write entries only when I feel like it
3. I resolve to write more meaty entries instead of filler-type stuff
4. I resolve to write any type of entry I want
5. I resolve to not be concerned about how many people actually read my blog
6. I resolve to read my favourite blogs more regularly
7. I resolve to not feel guilty when I don't have time to read my favourite blogs
8. I resolve to look at new blogs as that's how I found my current favourites
9. I resolve to not find any new favourite blogs until I've checked out the ones I already have bookmarked
10. I resolve to ignore any contradictions in any of the above statements

And most importantly, I shall follow what in my opinion might have made a good 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not compare thyself to any other blogger. Or covet their writing skill. Snort.

a new beginning?

Love that 2007 begins on a Monday. So appropriate somehow!

I'm not really one to go to any wild parties on New Year's Eve (well, any eve for that matter), but I do like to commemorate the occasion by taking stock of the past year and thinking ahead to what I wish for in the next year. I usually try to list (isn't everything better when listed?) all the good things of the year gone by, goals achieved, what I'm grateful for, and sometimes the stuff that wasn't so great. You know, the good, the bad, the ugly, what went right and what went horribly wrong. And while I definitely don't make resolutions, I do find that this is an excellent time to reassess how my life is going, and what I need to do differently.

My summation for 2006? Well, I won't bore you with the personal details, but suffice it to say that overall this wasn't a very good year (especially in terms of work and relationships), and that it's time to make changes. Big changes. I guess my main goal for next year is to have my life be quite different from the one I'm leading now, which is scary (especially for someone who doesn't particularly like change), but also hopeful. Wish me luck! And good luck with implementing any changes for yourself as well.

Happy New Year everyone!

In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, but never in want. —Irish Toast

alternative

Decided to put up this little tree instead. Isn't it cute? Found it in a thrift store (where else?), figured it looked lonely, so took it home. Put in eight small candles, and voilà!