"Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!"

Snort. No, it's not at Christmas that I clearly empathize with the Grinch (although, depending on the kind of year I've had, LOL), but when the weather turns warmer and the windows get flung open and I have to listen to other people's music, that's when you'll hear me reciting the familiar line above. I mean, it's bad enough having to be privy to people's inane yakking on cell phones everywhere (what, you can't go for a walk or bus ride without talking to someone?), but being forced to listen to someone else's music is one of my major pet peeves. Being a not-quite-recovered-enough curmudgeon, I have MANY pet peeves, wink, but that one is probably the biggest. Maybe it's because I love the sound of stillness (although I don't mind things like birds chirping or trains whistling), or maybe it's because if I do have background music on it's likely to be of the classical variety. No, what I don't understand is people's need to have their car stereos blasting, or worse, bringing their radios outside with them. Um, hello? What makes you think I want to listen to your crappy music? Why should I have to be subjected to that? And why are you so afraid of silence? As far as I'm concerned it's all noise pollution. I appear to fall in the minority though as music is everywhere and others don't seem to mind it as much.

But who is the worst offender on our street? If you guessed the lawnmower man who lives right across from me, then you're absolutely right. And is it the mowing of the sidewalk that bothers me the most? No, even though I think it's quite insane, that I can handle (even at three hours at a time), as it doesn't happen every day. Now, you might think me positively loony when you read what I'm about to say next, but it's his whistling that drives me around the bend. I know, I know, it doesn't seem such a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but his whistling is so high-pitched and shrill and loud and constant that I can hear it clearly at the back of the house, and even when I'm watching TV. No matter what the volume, his whistling (and he does it for hours on end) pierces through so that I have no choice but to close the windows. Does it bother others as well? Yes. Can I talk to him about it? No. After a, um, incident a couple of years ago (remember, I'm curmudgeonly), we are no longer on speaking terms. Have I considered strangling him with my bare hands? Yes, of course I have! Snort. In fact, enough people have heard me confess to wanting to do exactly that, so if a homicide were to occur more than one suspecting finger would rightly be pointed my way. Okay, I exaggerate, but it's not like I can call the police to report him. Can you imagine the exchange that would take place?

Police officer: What seems to be the problem Ma'am?
Me: My neighbour is making too much noise.
Police officer: How, specifically?
Me: Um, he's whistling. But really loud!
Police officer: [silence at first] Ma'am, is this a crank call?
Me: No! And you have to do something about it! Please?
Police officer: [click]

LOL

No, I don't think THAT would go over very well. I'm just going to have to practise being Zen-like as much as possible, I suppose. And enjoy the times when he's NOT whistling. But hey, blogging about it sure helped! ;)