a few laws of the universe ;)

from the inbox:

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Law of Variation:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle will arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.

Law of Consumer Products:
As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop making it.

And a new law proposed by sender of forwarded email:

Law of Gardening:
A lone tulip in the garden will be eaten only hours before it's ready to bloom!