Welcome to my humble hodgepodge of humour columns, quotes, tips, snippets, musings and ramblings. Ready? If so, get comfy and make yourself at home!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

what can I say?


I like witches.
No, the bottom one isn't mine.

happy halloween!



Saturday, October 28, 2006

reminder to self

"We turn not older with years, but newer every day." —EMILY DICKINSON

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Zen proverb

"If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are."

Monday, October 23, 2006

and her best friend


Scootie Patootie is 18!

Kitty Kazoo is 5 today!


There is nothing in the animal world, to my mind, more delightful than grown cats at play. They are so swift and light and graceful, so subtle and designing, and yet so richly comic. —MONICA EDWARDS

Okay, maybe KJ isn't ALL of those things, but she's awfully sweet, and gentle, and I wouldn't trade her for ANYTHING!

Friday, October 20, 2006

at the center of your being

Always we hope
Someone else has the answer...
Some other place will be better,
Some other time it will all turn out.
This is it
No one else has the answer
No other place will be better.
And it has already turned out!
At the center of your being
You have the answer
You know who you are...
And what you want.
There is no need
To run outside for better seeing,
Nor to peer from a window.
Rather, abide at the center of your being;
For the more you leave it
The less you learn.
Search your heart
And see...
The way to do...
Is to be.

—LAO-TZU

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

hey

I just realized that I started this blog exactly six months ago! Cool.

reading and writing, of a sort

I inherited my mother's hands; square palms with short, stubby fingers that even rings can't make more elegant. No, they're functional hands, not decorative in the least, but I'm used to them, and when cleaning they serve me well.

I've only had my palms read once, but it was by an obvious quack giving me the typical predictions he figured I'd want to hear. Um, don't all of us want to be happy in our work, family and love lives? Give me specifics! Or tell me something that will surprise me. But I'm wondering if there really is anything in those lines that could shed light on characters and futures. Is it a matter of just deciphering them properly? Somehow I doubt it.

I've also had a partial handwriting analysis done once; against my will I might add. When this person wanted an example of my writing, I declined, saying that since I only printed, it wouldn't be of much use anyway. They then informed me that this alone indicated that I was creative, intuitive, communicated clearly, was more interested in ideas, and had less need for social connectedness. Now, I like to think that with the exception of the last trait that all those things are true, but I remain sceptical. Many people don't practise cursive handwriting anymore, especially younger generations used to computer keyboards, and you can't tell me that every person who only prints shares the above traits.

They then happened to glance at my signature (in block letters) and declared that I was defiant of authority (absolutely true, as certain former teachers and employers will attest to), charitable (true, I like to think), and that when I let myself go, very funny. Well of course I didn't mind being told that I'm funny (who would?), so I decided I'd be a little more charitable and a little less defiant than I'd normally be in that type of situation. Snort.

Nah, I think I'll stick with regular reading and writing!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

theory of chaos

"For all men strive to grasp what they do not know, while none strive to grasp what they already know; and all strive to discredit what they do not excel in, while none strive to discredit what they do excel in. This is why there is chaos." —CHUANG TZU

Friday, October 13, 2006

world egg day

Who knew? And who decides these things anyway?

I like eggs, but only brown ones. And even though I KNOW better, brown eggs seem tastier, healthier, and just, well, nicer.

The point of this post? Um, none really, but have an egg today!

Wait! I just remembered something.

Did you know that eggs, in part, were responsible for my early feminism? Snort. Yep, eggs were to blame. You see, when I was growing up, money was tight and there were four other siblings to be fed, so whenever mom didn't quite have enough meat to go around she'd boil eggs for the GIRLS so there'd be enough meat for the BOYS. Grrrr. Oh, and I had to make up the beds of my three brothers, because, well, they were boys, and boys didn't HAVE to do housework. Grrrr again. My arguments that this treatment was sexist and unfair fell on deaf ears, and I swore that when I grew up I'd eat meat any time I liked. And that if I had kids of my own I'd teach them ALL to make their own bed.

Eggs and beds. Who knew what they could lead to? :)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

from the inbox

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.


When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel, "How could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him", she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die."

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmer's bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Sunday, October 08, 2006

chinese proverb

"A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives you roses."

Saturday, October 07, 2006

the easiest way to clean


For those unfortunate many who are NOT able to hire me to clean for them, I found the following tip in my inbox this morning:

HOW TO CLEAN THE HOUSE

1. Open a new file in your PC
2. Name it "Housework"
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?"
6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....
7. Feel better?

Snort.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

follow-up poem

Stare.

It is the way
to educate
your eye,
and more.

Stare, pry,
listen, and
eavesdrop.

Die knowing
something.

You are not
here long.

—WALKER EVANS

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

experiment gone awry


In a previous post I was discussing my love of windows, and relating that to my fascination with eyes. Well, I thought it'd be interesting (although a bit daunting not knowing what sort of impression you'd get) to show you what my eyes look like. Now being the private person that I am, I didn't want to reveal too much of my face, and therein lay the problem. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to take a picture of your eyes accurately? I tried this way, and that way, finally taking my glasses off as they caused too much of a reflection, and by the time I ended up taking this one (I just couldn't seem to get one that had both my eyes centred properly) was laughing almost uncontrollably. That is, after I'd gotten over the shock of remembering that the picture you see of yourself on camera is never what you see in the mirror. A little like how the voice you hear of yourself on tape is never what you hear inside your head. But I'm glad I did this because it made me realize that my eyebrows weren't tweezed symmetrically! And that my one eye is bigger than the other. Snort.

Anyway, the eye you see above comes with the requisite crowfeet and wrinkles (proof that I've laughed a lot over the years), and a red line I've had for at least a decade which I initially considered Visining away until I read on the bottle that one of the possible side effects was more redness! Other than that, I'll leave it up to you to determine what my eye tells you. But I would highly recommend that you try this experiment yourself, as it was both telling and amusing.