where did the week go?

Okay, I admit to deleting five of the list items that I didn't particularly like from the e-mail I received below, but thought I'd share the rest of them. The funny part though is that I can ALREADY relate to quite a few of them, and I'm not that old. Honestly. It also reminded me of the piece I wrote called You Know You've Been Unemployed Too Long When… which was pretty funny in my opinion, however unlikely it may seem given the topic. And at least one other person must have thought so too as they had copied part of it from my old website and put it on theirs a couple of years back. It was the first time someone had pilfered some of my writing (but they were nice enough to provide a link, which I can't do for the list below as it appeared in my inbox sans source), and frankly, I was quite flattered. Hmmm, maybe I'll resurrect it here sometime. So,

You Know You're Old When…

-- No one expects you to run into a burning building.
-- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
-- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
-- There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
-- Things you buy now won't wear out.
-- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
-- You can eat dinner at 4:00
-- You can live without sex but not without glasses.
-- You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
-- You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
-- You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
-- You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
-- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
-- You got cable for the weather channel.
-- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
-- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
-- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
-- You send money to PBS.
-- You sing along with the elevator music.
-- Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
-- Your back goes out more than you do.
-- Your eyes won't get much worse.
-- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
-- Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
-- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
-- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.