my 142nd post

Why the hoopla about this particular number? Well, why not!

And am I going to be springing the list that I hinted at in my 100th post? Hmmm, not really, but sort of. What you're getting instead is a column I wrote years earlier about some of the things that I don't understand, and while this won't give you as much insight as a 100-things-about-me list probably would, it was easier to write. Snort. Here goes:

42 THINGS I HAVE YET TO UNDERSTAND
(and no, that doesn't mean that there are only forty-two)

* the difference between plants and weeds

* why my right arm is longer than my left

* why 15 degrees Celsius feels warm in spring, yet cool in fall

* people who like dogs better than cats

* people who don't even like cats (what is THAT about?)

* why time seems to go faster as you get older

* why the rest of the world doesn’t share most (never mind all) of my opinions

* the appeal of coloured nail polish

* those funny geometric shapes when you rub your eyes really hard

* why there is both long-term memory and short-term memory, but no such thing as medium-term memory

* anyone who refuses to even CONSIDER playing Scrabble

* why cute babies rarely stay that way as they get older

* how I still manage to get wet even when using an umbrella

* why I love a good tomato, and like tomato soup, but hate tomato juice

* why birds have to sing so early

* how five siblings can be so different

* why my hair grows faster on the left-hand side

* why paper cuts hurt so much

* how when you live with others even your laundry cycles start to coincide

* why after all these years I can never remember whether the clock goes forward or backward when daylight savings time begins, and ends

* the five-day workweek

* why dishes never stay done no matter how often you do them

* why thunder and lightning makes me nervous

* why some people are still hung up on whom you love, rather than being happy that you love

* why I LIKE the taste of Buckley's Mixture cough syrup

* why it's no longer acceptable to do only one thing at a time

* why even atheists use God's name when swearing

* why dentist appointments always seem to arrive so soon

* that silly rule about when to wear white

* why I still use credit cards when I'd balk at paying that much interest at any other time

* why certain people get elected in the first place

* why they still haven't solved the problem of newsprint ink rubbing off

* why they don't understand at Lenscrafters that if I could actually SEE how the frames look while trying them on, I probably wouldn't even need to be there

* how I always (and I mean ALWAYS) pick the wrong checkout line

* why movies at the theatre stop playing the exact weekend I'm planning to go see them

* football (both the desire to watch, and play)

* the fear of snakes when there aren't that many around (at least, not where I live)

* why the phone has to ring the very SECOND I get settled on the toilet

* how otherwise intelligent people can't set their VCR properly (yes, I’m one of the few people left who doesn’t have a DVD player yet) [update: I do now!]

* why people don't try to avoid heartburn in the first place

* how TV shows that I wouldn't even consider watching at any other time of the day suddenly seem quite acceptable—interesting even—any time after midnight

* time itself