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Thursday, March 29, 2007

rebellion by proxy

Remember how in the meme yesterday I confessed that once upon a time I had a red-or-black-would-be-really-cool-for-a-wedding-dress notion? Before deciding that that might not be a valid enough reason to get married? Well, reading in the tub today (one of the advantages of NOT being married or having kids or working at a regular job is that you can take a bath ANY time of day or night), I happened to come across a blurb for a book called My Wedding Dress. It's supposed to be an anthology in the tradition of Dropped Threads, which I absolutely loved, and how in keeping with my motto of Why Do It When You Can Read About It Instead. Apparently there's even a section about women who have made non-traditional choices when it comes to wedding apparel. What a relief—now I can vicariously enjoy being a rebellious bride without having to compromise my single status! Snort.


Anonymous krissa said...

Geez. "Dropped Threads" sounds very good, but after reading the part about Isla James, the woman whose child died and the way it happened, I know I can't read that book. I still feel like I can't breathe right now and dizzy. Obviously you read it, KJM? I saw the review says it is almost unbearable to read. How did you get through it? You know, I cried about three times from 1994-2003. It's not that I didn't have feelings, I just didn't cry. No idea why. Now, the tears come when I read anything sad. ...Strange.

March 29, 2007 2:58 p.m.

Blogger KJ's muse said...

Yeah, loved Dropped Threads. It was the kind of book that you didn't want to see end, and the kind of book that makes you grateful to be a reader. Luckily for me, Dropped Threads 2 and 3 are already available.

Yes, that story by Isla James, as well as some of the others, was difficult to read, as it was so raw. But its realness made it so compelling, and I almost felt a duty to its author not to turn away, even when it made me flinch.

March 29, 2007 9:57 p.m.

Anonymous krissa said...

That makes total sense what you write about feeling a duty to the author to keep reading and not "look away". Maybe that's why I can't start...which is a different version of "looking away", but I know I couldn't make it through.

March 30, 2007 11:40 a.m.

Blogger KJ's muse said...

Hi Krissa,

Forgot to mention that I know what you mean about crying. I find that as I get older the tears flow more freely. Maybe it's hormonal?

March 31, 2007 8:56 p.m.

Anonymous susan said...

I've always been a big teary sook when it comes to movies and the like. I could never watch Lassie for example even though my stepmother would tell me that it wasn't real. As I get older I find that I'm actually less prone to tears, maybe because the temperamental, drama queen side of me is growing up [snicker]. I still cry in sad movies though, no matter how many times I've seen them.

April 01, 2007 12:43 a.m.

Anonymous krissa said...

It probably is hormones, KJM. Hadn't thought of that, but it wouldn't surprise me. And speaking of Lassie, did you guys ever watch Ol' Yeller? OMG! I bet my mom regretted letting me see that. I was crushed. And Bambi...:(

April 01, 2007 5:37 a.m.

Blogger KJ's muse said...

Hey, maybe it's my inner drama queen that's finally emerging! Snort. But no, I almost never used to cry in movies. Especially if they said it was a 5-hankie film, I usually wouldn't need a single one. So that's why my ability to blubber now is a bit unsettling to me. And I certainly don't like doing it in front of other people.

Hmmm, I don't think I ever watched Lassie, Ol' Yeller, OR Bambi. Maybe it's time? In private of course!

April 01, 2007 5:23 p.m.

Anonymous krissa said...

"And I certainly don't like doing it in front of other people"...that is exactly how I feel, too! Nick (more times than I can count), his parents (when Basil died) and my brother (a couple years ago when I was having extreme stress and problems while Nick was on tour) have seen me cry as an adult. If anyone else does.......well, I just won't think about that. If you made it through "Dropped Threads", you can make it through those movies, but get ready to be sad.

April 02, 2007 2:14 p.m.

Blogger KJ's muse said...

Hmmm, I wonder it is that makes us feel so uncomfortable crying in front of others? I think for me it's the feeling of vulnerability, and that in turn makes me feel unsafe.

April 04, 2007 8:44 p.m.

Anonymous krissa said...

Mine is probably not wanting to be seen as weak. And I know tears are not a sign of weakness, but it is subconscious and a bit from my childhood. Here's one story for example. I was taking one of our Great Danes through obedience class at 4H when I was 12 y/o. "Shiek" did not like other dogs too much anyway and one time a little dog from class ran under his legs and the leashes got wrapped around him and he went after the other dog. I had to use a horse lead with him and it wrapped around my wrist and burned a lot of skin off when he pulled. A LOT of skin. I still have a scar and now I'm 38. I started crying and my dad said, "stop crying. these are farm kids. this kind of thing happens to them all the time". I stopped crying.
(my dad really isn't a bad guy, i think he was embarassed by the whole entire thing and just wanted it to be over).

April 06, 2007 6:27 a.m.

Blogger KJ's muse said...

Aw, but yeah, I can relate. My mom was a nurse, and it seemed like you had to be practically dying before you'd get any sympathy or attention. Understandable I suppose, since she was working with elderly patients who literally WERE dying, but still. And I think feelings (especially showing them) was not really encouraged in our family.

April 06, 2007 4:18 p.m.

Anonymous krissa said...

:( It didn't help matters for me that my younger brother seemed oddly immune to pain...broke his arm and didn't really react, had a needle go through his foot and was like "oh, look", had a fishhook stuck in his knee and he did yell on that one when they took it out, but no real crying and so on. ... Well, now we can cry whenever we want! {as long as no one's looking.:)}

April 08, 2007 6:54 a.m.

Blogger KJ's muse said...

Sounds like we have similar families! One of the stories still circulating in mine is of my middle brother who once had a nail stuck in his foot when young, and how he practically never even flinched. As if that's something to be proud of. :(

April 08, 2007 11:10 a.m.

Anonymous krissa said...

OOOHHH... here comes a long comment, but speaking of nails. This is to illustrate my terror of needles and shots. When I was young I was running home barefoot once and drove a rusty nail into my heel. I got it out and snuck upstairs to the bathroom to "take care" of it. Don't ask me why I snuck. Something told me to. (We were allowed to go barefoot, so I wasn't afraid of that). At dinner, I asked my mom what would happen if someone stepped on a rusty nail. She said they'd have to get a tetanus shot. I thought about it and asked, what if they don't get a tetanus shot. She said they'd get lockjaw and die. I asked what lockjaw was, etc. I don't think I even debated in my mind whether to tell what had happened. But I spent the next several months waiting to get lockjaw. :) And that, is how deathly afraid of needles I am. I'd rather get lockjaw and die than get a shot. (of course now, if I step on a rusty nail, I'll suck it up and get the shot). (and no, my mother never asked why all the questions about rusty nails and tetanus).

April 09, 2007 9:54 a.m.

Blogger KJ's muse said...

Oh my goodness, what a story! And your mom sounds a lot like mine, LOL.

I used to be really afraid of needles too (tried to run away once from hospital before surgery when I was young because I just didn't want ANOTHER needle, snort), and still don't like them, but can handle it IF I don't look. But that's the key. I have to make sure my head is turned in the other direction.

April 10, 2007 10:06 p.m.


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