favourite movie I saw last year

Okay, it was the only one I saw (in a theatre that is), but I think it still would have been my favourite even had I seen more. I saw it exactly one year ago today (happened to keep the stub which I don't normally do, but that's how I know), and in my opinion it was a phenomenal film.

I remember being so moved that I was surprised that when it ended people got up as if nothing had happened. Surprised that they were physically capable of getting up and leaving, as I myself seemed stuck in my chair and wasn't quite ready to get up even when the credits had finished rolling. I remember struggling to keep my tears in check (hate crying in front of others) and going to the bathroom to have a bit of a cry there, instead. I remember walking home in a daze determined not to let the tears come until I was in my own space. When I did finally get home I remember letting go and weeping (not crying, but weeping) for I don't know how long. The incredible sadness of the film haunted me for days, and when I accidentally heard its theme song on the radio it stirred up my emotions afresh. And I remember leaving the movie theatre thinking that if I didn't see another film for the rest of the year (which turned out to be prophetic), it wouldn't matter as I'd already seen the best one.

The movie in question was Brokeback Mountain, one that I'm sure you're all familiar with because if nothing else it spawned the development of "brokeback" as a silly euphemism. And that's a shame because whatever your views are on same-sex relationships, the film deserved better than that.

What I personally thought was so wonderful about the movie was how it took a very specific theme and made it into a universal story. While it began as an exploration of two men who couldn't accept their own homosexuality (or bisexuality, if you will) as much as their society couldn't accept it either, it became a larger story of what happens to people who aren't tolerated for whatever reason, who then internalize non-acceptance, and the ripple effect that creates. Not only was the sense of loneliness and suffering so palpable in this film, it was also very clear that this extended far beyond the two main characters. Pretty much everyone lost out, including the two men's wives and children, because how can there be genuine relationships when essential parts of people remain hidden? Again, what I loved about this film was its ability to use one issue as a filter of sorts, demonstrating the consequences of not being accepted and understood, not being able to be open about your greatest passion, no matter what the passion, or the particular circumstance. In other words, the price that everyone pays when people are not allowed to be their true selves.

I mentioned the music earlier, and Gustavo Santaolalla's score is wonderful indeed. "The Wings" is especially lovely, and is the main song most often played in connection with this film. Now while I won't tell you to see it (I imagine that if you haven't already that it's probably not your cup of tea), it certainly had quite the emotional impact on me.