Welcome to my humble hodgepodge of humour columns, quotes, tips, snippets, musings and ramblings. Ready? If so, get comfy and make yourself at home!

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

the complete idiot

Yep, that would be me, otherwise I wouldn't have needed to read The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Perfect Resume, Fourth Edition, AND I would have finished it by now. Now while I don't like to think of myself as an idiot (complete or otherwise), I suppose it was necessary to recognize the problem before I could start to deal with it. Name it to claim it, so to speak. Well, the problem, to sum it up, is that I have unsightly "gaps" (hmmm, gaps still sound reasonable and somewhat self-contained, so perhaps "huge gaping holes" is more accurate) that blemish my otherwise not-too-bad employment record. Therefore, I figured that the best way to proceed was to assume that I had never even written a résumé before, even though I've applied for more jobs than I can count. In other words, finally learn how to do it right.

In all my years of sending out résumés the most difficult one was for a job that involved teaching others how to put together THEIR résumé, and boy, talk about pressure! I almost felt like writing in my cover letter, "Look, due to my dipping in and out of the labour force it appears as if I haven't been that successful with résumés myself, but honestly, I'm sure that I can teach better than I can do. Really." I didn't write that of course, but I also didn't hear back. Sniff.

And when I went to the library to return my other books, I didn't quite like how the librarian announced (and rather more loudly than I thought prudent—was it really necessary for EVERY patron to hear?) the title of the book that was still overdue. It was almost as if she was implying that not only was I a complete idiot, but also a complete idiot extraordinaire, who sadly hadn't been able to comprehend the contents of the book within the allotted time. Snort.


At any rate, I recommend this book for anyone who doesn't like his or her current résumé efforts. I've read a number of résumé books over the years and no book has ever addressed the specific problem of gaps (most books assume they don't exist, or if they do acknowledge them my reaction to their idea of a gap is often, "Gap? You call THAT a gap? Ha! Come look at my résumé!") as successfully as this one. Hey, even I might be better able to hide them this time!

Monday, May 29, 2006

hot, hazy, humid

Three of my least favourite words. At 6:30pm, the temperature was 33C (91F) and the humidity made it feel like a horrifying 41C (too high to even contemplate converting into Fahrenheit). The average temperature for this time of year is about 22C, and thankfully, it's supposed to return to that by Friday. But in the meantime? Well, I think the Wicked Witch of the West summed it up best when she said, "I'm melting! Melting!" And it's only May. Sigh.

Now those of you who personally know me know that I'm not a big fan of summer. In fact, if I could get Mother Nature to wave a magic wand and tell Canadians that she will no longer ridiculously spoil us with four seasons and that from now on we can only have three, I'd opt to get rid of summer. Yep, in a second, and I wouldn't miss it at all. I even wrote a humour column once about How Much I Really Detest Summer (appropriately titled On Why I Hate Summer), and considered posting it here today, but given that it's still May (May!), I shall wait. But not for long, so watch for it!

Sunday, May 28, 2006

art

"The art of progress is to preserve order amid change and to preserve change amid order." —ALFRED NORTH WHITEHEAD

Friday, May 26, 2006

rain, rain, and more rain…


Reminds me though of that lovely 1964 movie Les Parapluies de Cherbourg starring a young Catherine Deneuve. I can't say I'm a big fan of musicals, and when I first heard that the movie's dialogue was almost entirely sung rather than spoken I thought it sounded, well, almost preposterous, but I must say I was completely charmed by it. Hmmm, today might just be the right day to watch it again. Curled up cosily in my chair with Kitty Kazoo and a nice cup of tea of course.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Zen saying

"First thought, best thought."

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

yep

"But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." —Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

the proverbial deserted island question

"If you were stranded on a deserted island, what ONE book would you want to have with you?"

Hmmm. That's a tough one. And it depends on the category. If it were poetry, I'd bring Mary Oliver's New and Selected Poems. In fiction, One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez would probably be the winner, as it seems not only fitting somehow, but also entertaining enough to reread repeatedly. But non-fiction? A couple of writing books that have inspired me, namely Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird and Brenda Ueland's If You Want to Write, would be forerunners, but I think my trusty dictionary would be the one book I'd have to have with me. The Houghton Mifflin Canadian Dictionary of the English Language has served me well ever since I received it over twenty years ago, and with an almost never-ending supply of words (not to mention the photos and illustrations in the margins of its 1,550 pages), I could spin my own stories. Yes, if forced to choose only one book, my beloved red tome (you'll hear more about this dictionary, guaranteed) wins easily.

What about you? What one book would you have to have?

Monday, May 22, 2006

confession #1


I don't know the names of most plants, trees, flowers, birds, well you get the idea. It's sad really. My landlord even had to tell me that the flowers above are bleeding hearts. Bleeding hearts! I should have known.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

found in my inbox

A friend e-mailed me the following fable today:

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Saturday, May 20, 2006

one of my favourite poems

by one of my favourite poets:

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting—
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Oliver, Mary. New and Selected Poems. Boston: Beacon Press, 1992.

Friday, May 19, 2006

plate of plentiful


brought to me by my neighbour!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

truth

"If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?" —DOGEN

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

the what and why of tips

My mom taught me how to do a couple of things really well, and for that I will always be grateful. She taught me how to keep a house clean (without having to invest much time), and how to manage money. The former I indulge in whenever I feel inclined, and the latter has saved my hide more often than I can count. I mean, how many people can manage to be successfully unemployed for up to three years? Okay, that length of time only happened once, and I guess "successfully unemployed" is a bit of an oxymoron (okay, okay, a COMPLETE oxymoron), but the point is that without having the skills to save and stretch money, I would have been in serious trouble years ago. And I mean S.E.R.I.O.U.S trouble. So, in case it may be of even the tiniest help, I'm going to sprinkle some of my cleaning and money tips throughout this blog. I'll even label and number them clearly so that depending on your interest, you can either zoom in on them right away, or avoid them altogether. Your choice.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

fill your bowl...

"Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner." —LAO-TZU

Monday, May 15, 2006

eagle


It's probably hard to see clearly, but there's an eagle perched in the tree in the middle of the photo. And see the train tracks? Yep, they're right in my backyard. Well, practically. But more about that later.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

a review of rules

Just finished reading RULES FOR THE UNRULY: living an UNCONVENTIONAL life, and quite enjoyed it. Written by Marion Winik, her rules for the unruly include:

1. the path is not straight
2. mistakes need not be fatal
3. people are more important than possessions
4. be gentle with your parents
5. never stop doing what you care about most
6. learn to use a semicolon
7. you will find love

Chapters 5 and 6 spoke to me the most, but all the chapters/rules are worthwhile reading. The book, based on a talk she gave at her old high school, deserves a wider audience of all ages. Here, check it out at Amazon.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

daisies


"If I had my life to live over again, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances; I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies."

Friday, May 12, 2006

spring

"Sitting quietly, doing nothing, Spring comes and the grass grows by itself." —ZENRIN

Thursday, May 11, 2006

quirk #1

I like the bills in my wallet to be nice and crisp. I like 'em flat, smooth, no creases or folds, definitely not torn or taped anywhere, and if possible brand new. It might be peculiar, but I dislike old and wrinkly bills so much that I'm often tempted to buy something (anything!) just to get rid of them. However, I haven't worked up the nerve yet to ask cashiers, "Um, could you please exchange that bill for a crispier one?" as I can imagine the looks I'd get. And rightly so.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Australian Aboriginal proverb

"Those who lose dreaming are lost."

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

cherry tree blossoms


as seen from my second-floor window

Sunday, May 07, 2006

ABC

acceptance, awe
beauty, books
creativity, comfort
dreams, discovery
effort, ease
friendship, fun
generosity, gratitude
hope, humour
imagination, insight
joy, justice
knowledge, kindness
love, laughter
meaning, memories
natural, nice (underrated IMO)
optimism, openness
purpose, perspective
questions, quotes
respect, resilience
simplicity, stillness
trust, tolerance
unity, understanding
vitality, vision
wisdom, words
exuberance, excitement
youthfulness, yearning
zest, zeal

Saturday, May 06, 2006

the hunt

Came across a church book & bake sale in my travels today, and as I only had $2.50 on me, it was no contest as to what part of the sale would draw me in. After a bit of scouring I managed to find the following:

* Barbara Pym's An Unsuitable Attachment
* Iris Murdoch's The Philosopher's Pupil
* Jane Jacobs' Dark Age Ahead

* Roger von Oech's A Whack on the Side of the Head
* Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich (hey, you never know)


Not bad. No cash left, but five books richer.

Friday, May 05, 2006

joy and sorrow

"Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater." But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed." —KAHLIL GIBRAN

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

keeping an eye on things

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

mornings

I love mornings. Part of it is the joy (peculiar perhaps) of compiling my to-do lists. (My cat, by the way, made fun of this daily habit in one of her diary entries, and if you're interested, you can read her point of view about it here.) Plural because I found that one list was not sufficient. Well, that's not quite accurate as that almost makes it sound like I accomplish a lot, which is definitely not the case. I just find it easier to divide it into three separate lists: anything related to trying to find Paid Work, anything I consider Creative Work, and everything else conveniently lumped into Other. Ah, the beauty of items scratched out by the end of the day, and the daily (usually unjustified) early morning hope and optimism that I can achieve anything and everything as long as I clearly, and neatly, write it all down. Above all, I savour the promise of a whole day spread out before me. And letting it unfold slowly.

"It is worth everything to me to feel the morning opening gently, not to be hurried, not to push myself from one kind of response to another at top speed." —MAY SARTON

Monday, May 01, 2006

purring

I find almost no other sound as comforting. Maybe in part because it's such an audible and immediate way of expressing contentment. Humming and singing come close I guess, but to me they just don't convey the same depth of satisfaction. Nah, I'll take a purring kitty any day.